An Arrow to the Heart
by SomeStoryWriter
Summary: Ivan is a rebel with one mission: ending Lord Matthew's tyrannical reign. Lord Alfred lives a peaceful life in his brother's castle until a look into a stranger's eyes turns his world upside down. "I shot an arrow at your brother, but you caught my eye and pierced my heart in return."
1. Chapter 1

**This is my gift for altertalian-doodle for the 2017 Rusame Secret Santa event on Tumblr! I hope you like it!**

 **Prompt: heterochromiasoulmate AU with rebel ivan and noble alfred**

 **For those who don't know, heterochromia soulmate AU means that a person is born with two eye colors: right their own, left their soulmate's. If they make eye contact with their soulmate and recognize their eyes, the left eye will change to match the right (natural one).**

* * *

Ivan's arms and shoulders tensed with the effort of pulling the arrow back. One shot. If he was very lucky, he might get one shot. If everything played out right, he might get one attempt at Lord Matthew's live.

Ivan watched in disgust as one convicted after the other got executed. He couldn't see well from the building he was positioned on, but he failed to recognize any remorse in the Lord's eyes.

A guard came around the corner and Ivan quickly hid himself. His time was running out. The longer he stayed up here, the bigger the chance he'd get caught. When the coast was clear, he got back in position. "Hurry up, Natalya..."

Shouting erupted from one of the alleys leading to the square. Not long after, a runaway horse appeared, forcing the crowd apart. The guards responded immediately, trying to change the horse's direction, away from their lord.

A heavy stone dropped from a building forced their ranks apart.

This was Ivan's cue.

In the midst of the chaos, there was a split second where his target was exposed, and he took the shot.

 _Come on!_

The arrow drilled itself into Lord Matthew's shoulder.

 _No!_

He saw Natalya run away from the chaos, and he decided to get away as well.

Failed again.

* * *

Matthew stormed through the castle halls. "Find them! I want them brought down to their knees!"

"Brother?" Alfred came running towards him. "What happened?"

"Al. Don't worry, I'm okay."

"Was it the rebels?" He looked at his brother's shoulder. "Did they attack again?"

"Yes. But we've got it under control."

Alfred checked the bandage. "I've been doing some reading. Come, look!" He dragged Matthew along to his bedroom.

Said room was always a mess. Clothes were tossed around carelessly, cups forgotten everywhere. But there was one thing which was always perfectly organized: books. Wherever there were books, there was perfect order. Right now, a neat collection of books lay on the decorated wooden desk, not abandoned, but opened so they could be observed at any moment Alfred saw fit.

"You've been to the library again?" Matthew asked. His brother was a living, talking ball of energy, never sitting still, never silent for long. But that changed when he entered the castle library. The only words he spoke there, were words of excitement to the staff, holding up something new he'd read. Matthew was glad his brother was so easy to please. It would've been a pain in the ass if he'd been noisy, whining to see the books in the restricted section. Which were only really restricted because Matthew didn't want him to read them. His brother was better off with a little less knowledge. Sweet and innocent, that's how he would be kept.

"I saw all the guards coming with you to the trials. I've been wondering if there isn't a more effective way to protect you, with these rebel attacks happening more and more often. That wound on your shoulder only proves I'm right." He searched through his notes, which were categorized just as neatly as the books.

"It's very kind of you to worry about me." Matthew placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'm sure you'll make Lord Kiku very happy as well."

Alfred blushed ever so slightly. "Do you think so?"

"Definitely. He'll adore you."

Alfred let his fingers slide over the edges of a book. "When will I meet him?"

"Impatient, are we?" Matthew ruffled his hair. "But I understand that you want to meet him before you two get married. I'll send him a letter."

"Thanks." He bit his lip.

"What is it, Al?"

Alfred pulled open a drawer and pulled out a book. The leather binding was starting to tear at the spine. "Don't you ever wonder?"

"About what?"

He opened the book. It was filled with drawings of eyes, with descriptions scribbled all around them.

"Oh, Al," Matthew sighed. "Have you been reading about soulmates again?"

"I'm just curious. Somewhere out there…" His eyes looked out the window; the right one a rich blue, the left one a soft violet. Somewhere, deep down, he longed to meet the person that violet belonged to. Did that person look at his own blue eye in the mirror, wondering about Alfred? Would they be sad if they found out he'd married someone else?

"Alfred, come here." Matthew led Alfred to his bed and they sat down on the edge. "Didn't we talk about this?"

"I know. But maybe they're not all like Gilbert? Or father?"

"Alfred, trust your big brother. Besides, you have a ball to prepare for! You don't have the time for such silly things as soulmates."

Alfred nodded absent-mindedly. "Hey, Matt?"

"Yes?"

"Can I write Lord Kiku a letter? To ask if he'll come to the ball?"

Matthew smiled. "Of course. I'm sure he'll be delighted that you think of him so much."

Alfred smiled back. Maybe that will stop my wondering, he thought.

* * *

"We need to find some other way," Natalya said. "We can't keep trying and failing."

"We need to get closer," Ivan said. "We need to get so close, that no arrow can possibly miss."

The other rebels at the table nodded.

"We need to get physically close," Natalya said. "And Lord Matthew needs to have his guard down."

Ivan thought. "Not outside. Too many guards. Too much paranoia on the lord's side."

"Do we have a reason to be inside the castle?"

A young boy came running in. "News from the castle! News from the castle!"

"Ah, Jimmy." Ivan lifted him up so he could sit on the edge of the table. He pushed a piece of bread in the boy's hand. Lord Matthew had taken his parents' lives and the orphanage wasn't treating him too well. "What did you hear?"

Jimmy munched on the bread. "I listened in on some old servant. 'Despite the attack on Lord Matthew, the ball will be held as planned.'"

"That was to be expected," Natalya said. "So, we—"

"That might be a chance for us," Ivan said. "The ball. Sure, there'll be lots of security, but the chaos and light-heartedness of the setting should give us some cover."

"You want to kill Lord Matthew at his own party?"

"Do you have a better idea?" Ivan placed his hands on his sister's shoulders. "Those people today didn't have to die. If we had succeeded already, they would still have been alive. How many more innocent people are we going to fail?"

Natalya looked away. "I don't like this plan. If something goes wrong, we won't be able to get you out."

"Natalya, listen to your big brother. When have I ever let you down? Mm? When have I ever abandoned you?"

"Never." She looked at him. "Don't make this the first time."

Ivan smiled at her. "You just get me a distraction so I can sneak in. You're brilliant at that."

Natalya pouted. "Fine. But under one condition."

"Yes?"

"If they have those tiny cakes, take one for me."

* * *

I am very honored to be here," Lord Kiku said. "I do hope I'm not distracting you from your other guests."

"Oh, don't worry about it." Matthew handed him a drink. "I don't particularly enjoy these parties myself. I hold them because Alfred likes them and because they keep some important people on my land entertained."

"I understand."

Matthew spotted his brother on the other side of the ballroom. Alfred eyed them nervously, adjusting his clothes over and over. Matthew smiled and beckoned his baby brother over. So adorable. So innocent.

Alfred approached them and half hid behind Matthew's back. "Mattie?"

"Ah, Al! Lord Kiku, may I introduce you to my brother, Alfred."

Kiku bowed. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Why are you bowing?" Alfred asked.

"Alfred," Matthew said, reprimanding, "Lord Kiku is from a different place. They have different habits where he lives. Surely, you can understand that?"

"Yes." Alfred bowed, hoping it was a polite gesture. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

Kiku smiled, bemused. "You are even taller than your brother."

Alfred blushed. "Mattie says it's because I always have my head in the clouds."

"Then you and I are alike in that matter."

Matthew was pleased to see the two getting along so well. Soon, Alfred would be taken away to Lord Kiku's domain, far away and secluded, no longer something to worry about. "Al, why don't you ask Lord Kiku for a dance?"

"I'm afraid I'm not much of a dancer," Kiku said. "But perhaps with someone to teach me…"

Alfred blushed. He was getting all giddy. "I'll do my best!"

* * *

Ivan twisted the rings around his fingers. They felt foreign, like something from another life. He couldn't think about it too much. It had to look natural. Everything about him had to look natural. He had to dig up some arrogance and attitude from somewhere deep inside him. He had to convince everyone that he belonged at a fancy party. Perhaps he needed to convince himself first.

"Name?" The doorman was obviously tired after checking name after name, guest after guest.

"Ivan Braginsky."

The doorman checked the list. He frowned when he didn't find what he was looking for. "Braginsky, you said, sir?"

"Yes. From the good side of the family." He added a little smile to hide the venom in his voice. He should have been over it by now. On the other hand, the grudge did help him move forward. Yes, he was Ivan Braginsky. From the bad side of the family. The traitors. The dead.

The doorman checked his list again. Ivan tapped twice with his highly decorated cane.

One of Natalya's many strengths was appearing on time. Ivan's cane had barely touched the ground a second time before she strolled into sight, a wild brown wig on her head, a bottle in her hand, swaying from side to side. "Oh, Matthew!" She went straight for a woman standing in line behind Ivan. They had planned it all out: this woman was so familiar at the castle, that her name wouldn't have to be checked. Ivan had managed to slip right in front of her, and now he was going to accompany her inside.

"I'm going to marry him!" Natalya clutched the woman's shoulders. "I'm going to marry Matthew! Me, not any of you silly turds!"

The doorman tried to get in between, but Natalya knew how to put up a fight. "Let go of me! Matthew's waiting for me!"

"Let me," Ivan said. He gently grabbed Natalya's shoulders. "You should go home, miss."

"I don't want to!"

"Are you sure you have put on enough makeup? And are those really your best jewels? You might want to check again."

"Oh… Yes… I will..." Natalya turned around and swayed away, drinking from her bottle.

"Thank you, sir," the doorman said. "Would you mind escorting the poor lady inside?"

"Of course." Ivan held up a hand for the frightened woman to take. "Are you okay, miss?"

"Yes, thank you, sir."

Ivan smiled, though not at the woman.

He was inside.

* * *

It was a bit awkward, dancing with someone so short. But Alfred found he didn't mind it too much. "What's your land like?"

"It's very beautiful. I look forward to taking walks with you through the blossoming landscapes." Kiku struggled with the foreign dancing.

"Matthew doesn't let me out of the castle much. He says it's too dangerous."

"You will be safe at my place. It's peaceful there. You won't have to fear."

A turn. A twirl. "Do you think your people will like me?"

Kiku smiled. "I'm sure of it."

Alfred looked at the guests around him. He loved hearing from people outside of the castle. They always had so many stories to tell. He searched for someone new, with new stories. Yes, there, a tall man with pale blond hair. His clothes were chic, but not entirely of the season. Perhaps he didn't frequent parties often. A long scarf rested on his broad shoulders. Alfred's gaze lingered on the stranger's stern face. If he had to guess, he'd say Braginsky. That light hair and those sharp features ran in that family.

"How's the weather at your place?" Alfred asked Kiku. "I'd love to feel the sun more often."

"It's quite pleasant. However, it does rain a few months of the year. But I'll make sure you're entertained during the indoor season as well." He reached up and cupped Alfred's face. A bold move. "I will do my best to make you happy."

Alfred blushed. "I look forward to it."

Kiku smiled. "If you don't mind, I will rest for a bit now. It seems like we will have to practice dancing more often if I want to keep up with you."

"It'd be my pleasure."

Alfred talked to some ladies which came over more often. One of them had gotten married. Another had inherited a cottage by the grand lake. "You should really come over sometime, dear."

"I'd have to ask Matthew. You know how protective he can be."

He drifted from guest to guest, until he was faced with the back of the unfamiliar Braginsky.

Ivan clutched his cane. He had to get close to Lord Matthew. Once he did, the cane would reveal itself to be a dagger, and it would pierce the tyrant's heart. At last.

Could this be it? Did all their effort lead up to tonight? Would it be Ivan freeing the people here and now? Would he walk out as a hero?

No, he wouldn't walk out of the castle.

But they could put it on his grave.

 _I'm sorry, Natalya._

"Hello, stranger."

Ivan flinched. Relax, he thought. He'd make people suspicious like this.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Ivan glanced over his shoulder. "It's okay."

"You're a Braginsky, right?"

"Yes..." He looked at Lord Matthew, who was talking to a short foreign man.

"I'm Alfred. As your host, I wanted to make sure you're enjoying yourself."

"Host?" What would happen if he just walked over there? Would someone stop him? How quick were those guards?

"Yeah, I'm Matthew's little brother."

Alfred. Lord Matthew's little brother. "Wait... Lord Alfred?"

"That's me!"

Now Ivan fully looked at the person next to him. He was shorter, and his wild blond hair caught Ivan's attention first. He moved his gaze lower and noticed Alfred's eyes.

It was like looking in a mirror.

Ivan would recognize that beautiful blue anywhere. He would look at it in the mirror, swearing he could see actual stars in it. He used to wonder who that beautiful blue of his left eye belonged to. But that time had passed. He hadn't wondered about it anymore, until now. Until he saw this Lord Alfred with his own violet eye.

Alfred watched with open mouth as the stranger's left eye changed color. The familiar blue melted into an equally familiar violet. "You're..."

Ivan breathed heavily. This…

Alfred grabbed Ivan's face so he could look closer at his eyes. "Did… did mine change too?"

Ivan nodded, unable to speak.

"What's your name?"

"Ivan..." No, he wasn't supposed to answer that!

"Hello, Ivan. Are you my soulmate?"

"I think so." He grabbed Alfred's hands and his gaze fell on Lord Matthew, who had noticed them. The lord didn't seem pleased at all with what he saw.

 _He's going to remember my face._

Ivan turned around and hurried to the grand doors, trying to cover his face with his scarf.

"Wait!" Alfred tried to go after him but was stopped by his brother.

"Guards, catch him!" Matthew yelled. "Alfred, what were you thinking with that man?"

"He's..."

"How can you flirt with strangers in front of Lord Kiku? Have you no decency?"

"Matt, he's… Look!" He pointed to his eyes.

Matthew's face turned cold. He gripped Alfred's arm.

"Ouch!"

"You will show this to your fiancé and explain to him that this doesn't change a thing. You will still marry him."

"But—"

"Do it. I'll have a word with you later."

Alfred nodded and shuffled over to Lord Kiku. He couldn't stop himself from looking in the direction the stranger had fled.

Ivan.

Ivan Braginsky.

* * *

Ivan panted. Lord Matthew's guards were well-trained and he could barely evade them. Deeper into the woods he allowed himself to catch his breath.

Lord Alfred was his soulmate.

He started laughing; the whole situation was too absurd. The tyrant's little brother. It was like something right out of a theatre play.

"Ivan!" Natalya ran towards him. "What happened? Did you succeed?"

They made eye contact and she saw. "Ivan? Is that…?"

"I am in so much trouble."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you guys for all your nice comments! You make my day!**

 **As you can see, I've had to up the rating, because stories never turn out the way I plan them (somehow).**

 **Trigger warning: emotional abuse.**

* * *

"Are you sure it's him?" Natalya asked, licking her fingers. In the end, Ivan had managed to sneak out two mini cakes for her.

"It's him. It's Lord Alfred."

The rain leaked through the old roof here and there. The building had once been partly consumed by a fire. No attempts to restore it had been made, nor had anyone ever looked back at it. Though shamble, it made for a good hideout.

"Say it," Ivan said. "We're both thinking it."

Natalya sighed. "You'd be the perfect spy. Giving Lord Alfred a kiss on the cheek and then having him tell you everything we ever wanted to know."

"Not just that. Once we kill Lord Matthew, we need a replacement. We can't have chaos break loose. Lord Alfred is said to be naive and rather daft. It wouldn't be hard for me to rule through him, use him as a puppet."

"It's too risky, though. You'd have to convince Alfred to keep your 'relationship' secret. If Matthew starts digging into your past, we're done for. And then there's another problem."

"I will inevitably start caring about him." Ivan watched some water drip onto the floor. "He's my soulmate. There's no way I won't develop feelings for him over time. It might compromise the entire mission."

"You're a weak link now."

"With a weak spot."

"Unreliable."

"Untrustworthy."

Natalya folded the wrappers. "If he's your soulmate, he can't be too bad of a person. Misguided, perhaps."

"I should go after him, shouldn't I? Despite the risks?"

She nodded. "From now on, we won't give you any sensitive information, just to be sure."

"Thank you."

She smiled at him. "Go now. Lord Alfred's waiting for you."

* * *

Kiku's hands were soft and warm, but it barely penetrated the thick fog surrounding Alfred's mind. He couldn't tell exactly how long he'd been in bed. He had slept a while. When he woke up, his fiancé had been by his side.

"Lord Matthew told me about your condition." The dark eyes were soft and loving. "Don't worry, I'll look after you."

"I don't like this medicine."

"Your brother says it's for your own good. You don't have to take it too often, do you?"

"Not anymore. I used to, in the past."

Kiku stroked his face. "Your eyes are very pretty."

"Are you not mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad? One can't help running into someone. If anything, I'm delighted that you choose me, instead of that stranger. I promise I will never make you regret it." He pressed a kiss to Alfred's hair. "Now rest. I'll ask your brother to let you off the medicine as soon as possible."

"Thanks."

Kiku rose from the bedside. He bowed at Matthew in the doorway and left.

"Brother?"

Matthew approached the bed. "You have hurt me, Al."

"I'm sorry."

"What for? Tell me exactly what you've done wrong, so I know you've learned your lesson."

Alfred swallowed. "I wanted to search for my soulmate."

"And?"

"And you told me I couldn't."

"Why?"

"Because it would have been a bad decision. Marrying Lord Kiku is the right decision, and I wanted to do something else."

"You would have made me worry about you every day." Matthew sat down on the side of the bad. "Only bad people make their brothers worry."

Alfred nodded. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "I'm sorry."

"That's not all you did though, is it?"

Alfred tried to blink away his tears. "I pushed you. I got angry and then I pushed you."

"You gave me no choice but to give you your medicine. We both hoped that you had been cured, but it seems we were wrong."

"I'm sorry," Alfred choked out. His tears rolled down his cheeks.

"It's not your fault. You didn't choose to become a bad person. Other people did that to you. People I couldn't protect you from. In the end, it's all my fault."

"No!" Alfred grabbed his brother's arm. "Please don't blame yourself! You're an amazing brother. You're my hero!"

Matthew smiled at that. "You're being too kind."

"I mean it. From now on, I'll only trust you. I don't need to find my soulmate, that's way too dangerous. I trust that you know what's right for me."

Matthew peeled his brother's fingers from his arm. "You see? You can be a good person. I'm proud of you, Alfred."

Alfred smiled through his tears. "It's only because of your help."

"Oh, come here." Matthew hugged his little brother close. "You go back to sleep now."

He pulled away and Alfred snuggled deeper underneath the blankets. He sighed and relaxed into the pillows. "Maybe I'll have a nice dream."

"Maybe you'll see your soon-to-be husband there."

"Yeah. I hope it's one of those dreams where I'm in a flower field. If it is, then I'll grab Ivan's hand and—" He shot upright. "I mean, Kiku! I'll grab Kiku's hand and..."

But it was too late. Matthew looked at him with fire in his eyes. "So you lied to me? You are still thinking about him?"

"No! A slip of the tongue, that's all!"

"I don't like people who lie to me, Alfred. They're bad people."

Alfred started positively shaking. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Matthew pinned him down by his shoulders. "I don't think your dose is strong enough."

"No, please! I hate this medicine! It makes my mind so slow and it makes it so hard to read anything!"

"Are you talking back to me?"

"No!"

"Do you dare talk back to me?"

"No, please, I don't want another dose! I'll be good, I promise!"

"I'm not sure I believe you anymore."

Alfred wanted to struggle, to push Matthew off him, but he knew better than to do so. "Please, I don't want to be a bad person!"

"I know that, Alfred." He dug a vial from his pocket.

"No! Please, I'll be good! I'll never think of Ivan again!"

"I'm not sure you're capable of that on your own."

"Then help me!"

"That's what I'm doing." He pulled the cork out of the vial. "Open your mouth, Alfred."

Alfred shook his head, lips tightly pressed together.

"You don't want to make me mad."

Alfred could barely see through his tears.

Matthew sighed and for a moment, a bit of softness returned. "Don't cry, baby brother." He put the vial aside and hugged Alfred again. "Try to see things from my side. You were doing so well. You didn't need your medication at all. But then this Ivan showed up, and look where we are now. You're being awfully hurtful again."

"I'm sorry…"

"Shh. It's not your fault. It's this Ivan who's a very bad influence on you. Now, as your brother, it's my duty to protect you from people like Ivan. And I will go to the bitter end to do so. If he stays this present in our lives, I'm afraid I will have to take measures against him. Measures which will hurt him."

Alfred squeaked, "No!"

"I don't want to, Al, but I'll do anything to protect you."

"Please, don't hurt him!"

"Then stop thinking about him. Unless you want the same thing to happen as with Gilbert."

Alfred reached over to the vial. When he received an encouraging nod, he drank his dose, and then some extra, just to be sure. "Please help me."

"Of course, dear Alfred. I'll help you forget about Ivan. That's what big brothers are for."

"Mattie?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, baby brother."

Alfred drifted off. "You're my hero…"

Matthew smiled. "Yes, I am."

* * *

Ivan roamed by the big fence surrounding the castle gardens. He couldn't climb over them; the wire was sharp enough to cut through flesh.

It was a hunch, really. The lords didn't go outside on set times, but rather whenever it pleased them. That much the rebels had found out after numerous risky spying operations.

It was a sunny day, so it would make sense for them to be outside. Ivan stayed close to a bush so he could duck for any passing guards, and waited.

Lord Alfred looked strikingly similar to the princes on white horses that fairytales liked to speak of. Ivan allowed himself to fall in love; it was bound to happen sooner or later anyway. He let himself be enchanted by the sight of Alfred on a brown horse, elegant, yet relaxed. He was having fun. Ivan could catch hints of laughter and it sent a tingling down his stomach. He grabbed a shard of a broken mirror out of his bag and held it into the sun. With a bit of moving and shifting around, he managed to steer the light right to his target.

Alfred flinched when a bright light shone in his eyes unexpectedly. When it faded, he looked around for the source. A person was waving at him over by the fence. He cast a glance at Matthew and Kiku—both were otherwise occupied—and rode his horse over to the stranger. "Hello, there. Can I help you?"

"It's me, Ivan."

Alfred squinted. "You seem oddly familiar. Have we met before?"

Ivan was more than a bit astounded. "Yes, we have. At the ball. Ivan Braginsky."

"Ah…"

Ivan smiled. Nothing to worry about.

"We talked for a bit, didn't we?"

And his mouth fell open again. "You don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

Ivan took a deep breath. "We looked at each other, and… Alfred, I don't know why I have to tell you this, but I'm your soulmate."

Alfred chuckled. "Well, I am flattered by your infatuation, but I'm afraid I have already found my soulmate. I'm marrying him this week."

What the… "Are you playing with me?"

"I would never."

"Alfred-san?" A foreigner approached them on a horse. "Is this a friend of yours?"

"Kiku! I'm afraid this gentleman here is a bit confused. He claims to be my soulmate."

"Alfred," Ivan tried again, "at the ball, you met your soulmate."

"Yes, I did." He looked at Kiku. "We met, and when we made eye contact, we both knew."

Kiku smiled, though not entirely at ease.

"You've got the wrong person," Ivan said. "Somehow, you've got us mixed up." But how was that even possible?

"Sir, your joke's wearing thin. I must ask you to leave now."

And then Lord Matthew approached. Ivan turned around to hurry away.

"Not so fast."

Ivan stopped, wondering how far he'd get before the guards caught him.

"Lord Kiku, please take Alfred inside. He's had enough excitement for today."

"Of course. Let's go, my dear."

Alfred cast Ivan one last confused look before following Kiku away.

"So, you're Ivan." Matthew looked intimidating on his high black horse. "You have caused quite a disturbance for my brother."

"My apologies, my lord." The words tasted sour on his tongue, but they might just keep him alive.

"If you fancy keeping your head attached to your body, you will disappear out of our lives. I don't want to notice you exist. Understood?"

"Yes, my lord."

"Good. Now, shoo. You've bothered us long enough."

Ivan walked away. He had some thinking to do.

* * *

"I don't feel comfortable lying to your brother," Kiku said. "He seems to genuinely believe I'm his soulmate."

"It's for the best." Matthew sipped his wine. They were reclined on the soft sofas, the sunset visible through the windows. "Now he will only have eyes for you."

"Is it safe, this medicine you use on him?"

"Of course. It's only to get him back on track again after he flies off the handle. He needed it more often when he was younger. It seems time heals a lot of ailments."

"Sick or not, I think Alfred's a very sweet boy."

Matthew raised his glass. "And soon, he'll be all yours."

"About the wedding…"

"Yes, I'm afraid the ceremony here will be very small, for security reasons. Your domain is a lot more peaceful, however."

"My people are already preparing a festival. Alfred will feel very welcome."

"Good."

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

Alfred peeked around the corner. "I'm done bathing."

"Would you like to join us?"

Alfred nodded and shyly sat down on the sofa next to Kiku. "I'm sorry, I'm not very decently dressed." He attempted to straighten out his nightgown a bit.

"That doesn't make your company any less endearing."

"Shall I leave you two alone for a bit?" Matthew asked.

"Matt!" Alfred flushed bright red. "Don't tease!"

"Oh, I can't help it." He got up. "I wish you both a very good night." Taking his glass with him, he left the room.

Kiku softly placed his hand on Alfred's. "This man we saw today, is he bothering you?"

"Not really. I don't think he'll be back again." But wasn't there something he was forgetting?

"It's getting harder and harder not to be married to you." He squeezed Alfred's hand. "I wish I could kiss you already."

Alfred's mind nearly left his body. He whipped his head around to the door. No Matthew in sight. "We could. I mean, if we both want to, and we're almost married anyway..."

Kiku pushed himself up. "Would you want to?"

"I do."

Kiku cupped his face. "Then I see no reason not to." He leaned forward and touched his lips to Alfred's.

Alfred froze for a moment. That feeling of forgetting something returned, more persistent. It felt like a void in his conscience, something he couldn't grasp. But it was no use pondering over it now, so he closed his eyes and focused all of his attention on Kiku.

* * *

"Something's wrong." Ivan had been pacing back and forth for at least ten minutes now.

"Sit down," Natalya said from the moth-eaten sofa they'd once found abandoned somewhere. "You're making me dizzy."

"He must've been tricked somehow," he said, ignoring his sister. "There's no way he mixed things up on his own. It's just not possible."

"Do you think Lord Matthew did this?"

"It has to be. Either him or that other guy. His… fiancé." He clenched his fists ever so slightly.

Natalya chuckled.

"What?"

"Getting a bit possessive, are we?"

Ivan's cheeks tinged a light pink. "Nothing like that."

Natalya raised an eyebrow.

He let out an exasperated sigh. "He's my soulmate, okay? I feel like I at least deserve a chance to get to know him. It's not fair if he marries someone without knowing of my existence. It's not fair to either of us." He finally stopped pacing. "Maybe he'll like me better. Maybe he won't. But he deserves a chance to find that out for himself."

Natalya pulled her legs up on the sofa. "This doesn't change too much about the plan. It just adds an extra step. And some complexity."

Ivan nodded. "I'm going to make him remember somehow." He smirked. "And then we'll see who _my_ soulmate chooses to be with."

* * *

 **How are you guys liking it so far? It's been a while since I've written a multi-chapter story, so I'm curious what you think of it.**

 **Have a beautiful day!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, I kept you waiting! Thing is, that I'm super busy right now, so I can't make any promises about upload times. Fear not, though! I would never just abandon a story. I've once written a 20,000-word fic over the course of a year. No matter how long it might take, this story will be written.**

 **Have a beautiful day!**

* * *

Matthew clutched the prison bars. "It's almost over… He's almost gone..."

"You'll finally have your way."

"Yes. Finally."

A hand reached through the bars and stroked Matthew's face. "You're about to lose everything."

"Shut it. You've never understood anything."

"Or is it you who's got things wrong?"

Matthew pulled the hand off his face. "I will never let that Ivan become as big of a problem as you once were."

"You're afraid."

"I'm not!"

"Why else would you have come up here?" Both hands reached out, cupping Matthew's face. "You know it. You know how frail your control is. And that terrifies you."

"Alfred can't even think without me. He's no threat."

The prisoner's eyes looked sad more than anything else. "It must be so lonely, being you."

"You know nothing about me." Matthew turned away and walked to the door. He hesitated, his hand on the knob. "I've spoken to the cook. He'll make sure to keep your food warm from now on. He wasn't aware it cooled down so much on the way here."

"Yes, you've tucked me away rather nicely."

"Is there anything else you need?"

"My freedom."

Matthew tried to think of a response, but he couldn't come up anything. "Bye." The door slammed shut behind him.

* * *

Alfred let his hands slide over the many fabrics laid out for him. "I was thinking something red."

"That would look lovely," Kiku responded from the other end of the store, hidden by a row of cabinets.

"May I suggest a hint of gold?" Someone on the other side of the table said.

Alfred looked up. "You're..."

Ivan pressed a finger to his lips. "It's best if no one knows we're talking right now."

Alfred looked around him. "Maybe it's better if you leave then."

"I'm here to take a little trip down memory lane with you."

"Is this about the soulmate thing again?"

Ivan moved closer. "If you want me to leave, then answer my questions."

"I can call out to the guards any second."

"I'll keep coming back."

"I'll tell Matthew."

"Matthew couldn't stop me from meeting you a first time, and a second, and a third. The thing is, you're being lied to."

Alfred gripped the fabrics ever so slightly. "I'll listen for a bit, and then you'll disappear, understood?"

Ivan leaned forward on the table. "Where did we meet?"

"At the ball."

"What did we do?"

"We talked."

"How did you meet your soulmate?"

"I looked Kiku in the eyes."

"What happened after?"

"I..." There was a foggy bit in his memory. "I..." Anger. Bedbound. Matthew. "There was an argument… or something."

"What about?"

Soulmate. That was the word that came to mind.

"Alfred, who did you argue with?"

"Matthew."

"What about?"

"My soulmate."

"Why?" Ivan looked at those cast-down blue eyes. He couldn't see those stars in his own mirror anymore. In a way, Alfred had taken a piece from him.

"I wanted to..." Alfred frowned. He had memories of being forbidden to see his soulmate and being encouraged to get close to him at the same time. "I wanted to go after Kiku, but..." His head started hurting. "This doesn't make sense."

Ivan put a hand on his shoulder. "Do you see now?"

Alfred looked up and was hit with the memory of Gilbert. "This is wrong, I shouldn't be talking to you."

"Alfred, look at my eyes. Don't you recognize them?"

"Get away from me."

"Kiku isn't your soulmate. Once you realize that, everything will make sense."

"Alfred? Are you alright?" Kiku appeared and recognized Ivan at once. "Guards!"

Ivan ran to the back of the store and managed to slip out the door and into the busy streets.

"Did he hurt you?" Kiku asked, checking Alfred over.

"No, he… It was just like last time."

"I'll report it to Matthew. This is getting concerning."

Alfred nodded. He pointed to a bright red fabric. "I like this one. With a touch of gold, perhaps."

Kiku was a bit taken aback by Alfred's lack of urgency, but he figured that the innocent lord didn't have much sense of danger. "Very nice." He wrapped his arms around Alfred's waist. "I'm sure you'll look splendid."

Alfred nodded again. His head hurt.

* * *

Alfred sat cross-legged on his bed, rubbing his temples. The headache hadn't subsided. It had nagged on all throughout dinner until a worried Kiku had advised him to lay down.

In the dark, he racked his brain. At the ball, he had met Ivan first… No, Kiku. He had met Kiku first. And then Ivan. But it was around that time that he discovered his soulmate. How could that be?

A knock at the door.

"Come in."

Kiku peered into the dark room. "Am I disturbing you?"

"Not at all."

"I'm afraid I have unpleasant news." He approached the bed and sat down on the edge.

Alfred grabbed his hand. "Is everything alright?"

"One of my advisors has passed away. I have to return to my domain to handle things."

"But… When will you leave?"

"Tonight. I came to say goodbye." He cupped Alfred's face with one hand. "I'm afraid our wedding will have to wait."

"When will you be back?"

"I'm not sure. Soon, I promise. As soon as I can."

Alfred nodded. "Have a safe trip."

"I'll think of you along the way."

Alfred leaned in and captured Kiku's lips. Kiku responded, wrapping his arms around Alfred's shoulders. They deepened the kiss, Kiku crawling onto the bed.

"Do you love me?" Alfred asked in between kisses.

Kiku didn't respond right away. He pressed closer to Alfred until there was barely any space left between them. "I think I could," he whispered, letting his hands roam and caress. "I want to." The hands went back to cupping Alfred's face. "Would you be disappointed if I failed?"

"Why would you fail? We're soulmates."

Kiku pulled back a little. "Of course. Silly me."

Alfred looked into Kiku's same-colored eyes for a moment before holding him close again. "Come back soon. I'll be waiting for you."

"And I won't let you wait for long."

 _You're his soulmate. His eyes changed upon seeing you._

 _His blue eye changed to black._

 _Your black eye changed to blue._

But… hadn't his eye been violet?

* * *

Ivan washed the last of the shaving foam off his face. He looked at his eyes in the mirror, missing the stars he was once able to see. He had been reckless today. He had to calm his mind. No one would be benefited if he let himself get dragged away on some useless chase.

What was Alfred doing now? Was he laughing and frolicking with that fiancé of his?

Ivan knew he had to keep distance. Yes, he had to gain Alfred's trust, and get close enough to get Matthew out of the way. He knew he'd fall for Alfred in due time. But he couldn't afford to get hot-heated before their plan had very well started. That Lord Kiku wasn't worth it to risk everything. He was nothing.

He was stealing Ivan's soulmate.

Ivan clenched his fists around the sink. If only Alfred would recognize him. That was all he was asking for at that point: that Alfred would know who he was.

But instead, Alfred was preparing himself for some liar's wedding, sharing sweet moments with a fake soulmate. It made him want to storm to the castle and scream at the top of his lungs.

He looked in the mirror again. He could only dream of that blue now.

Until he saw Alfred again, that was.

* * *

Alfred wandered the castle halls. He had to be quiet, for the whole castle had gone to sleep already. The light of his candle shone on the many paintings in the stretched-out hallway. He had found himself unable to sleep, tossing and turning while his thoughts did the same.

He walked past the portraits, his heart pounding, not sure what he was looking for. He stopped at one of the bigger ones, painted what seemed like centuries ago. Lord Arthur sat proudly on his throne, little Alfred on his lap. Next to him sat his husband, the beautiful Sir Francis, holding Matthew. They looked happy, all four of them. Even Matthew.

Alfred looked at himself. His father looked so proud of him, even though he had trouble sitting still. His eyes sparkled, both of them; one blue, the other violet. His eye had once been violet. The color of his soulmates eyes. The color of Kiku's…

Alfred sat down on one of the chairs by the wall. Kiku's eyes were black. Both of them. Alfred had never had a black eye. That violet came from somewhere else. Someone who wasn't Kiku.

Because Kiku wasn't his soulmate.

Alfred searched his memory for that violet, and it brought him back to the ball.

Ivan. Ivan Braginsky.

 _"Are you my soulmate?"_

Chaos. Ivan running away. Alfred being told to join Lord Kiku. And then…

 _"You will marry Lord Kiku and that's the end of it!"_

 _"How can you say that? My soulmate's out there! I have to go after him! If you care about me, you'll let me be with the person I was born to be with."_

 _"How dare you talk to me like that, you ungrateful brat. Do you have any idea what I've had to suffer through because of you? Huh? Do you have any idea what a terrible person you are?"_

 _"Stop saying that!"_

 _"Not as long as it's true."_

 _"Just let me live my life!"_

And then he had shoved him. Alfred knew he had made a mistake as soon as his hands made contact with Matthews' chest. He had begged for forgiveness, trying to avoid any punishment that might follow. Matthew pulled out some vials and Alfred knew what was in store for him. When he refused to take his medicine voluntarily, Matthew drenched a cloth with it and forced Alfred down on his knees. It hadn't been easy; Alfred had grown stronger over the past few months. That was only more reason for Matthew to intervene immediately. He pressed the cloth over Alfred's mouth and nose, forcing him to breathe in the damps.

After that, everything was a lot fuzzier. Kiku had been by his side, that he could remember. He'd been so kind, stroking his face and whispering comforting words.

Then there had also had been Matthew. He couldn't remember too well, but there was an anxious feeling crawling upon him. Was that how he felt back then? What had scared him so? Ivan came to mind again. There had been something about Ivan. Fear.

 _"Please, don't hurt him!"_

Alfred buried his face in his hands. It was all coming back to him, with far greater speed than he could handle.

 _"Please help me."_

 _"Of course, dear Alfred. I'll help you forget about Ivan. That's what big brothers are for."_

The rest was a blur of Matthew telling him that his soulmate, Kiku, was there. Kiku, his soulmate, was by his side.

His soulmate, Kiku.

Kiku, his soulmate.

Alfred could almost feel how the idea had taken hold in his mind. He had to place the candle on the floor before his shaking hands would spill suet everywhere.

Matthew had lied to him. The only person he had always trusted, had made him believe something that wasn't true. Even his beloved Kiku was in on it. So many emotions came to him at once: anger, sadness, and a small hope that somehow, this wasn't true.

"Ivan…"

He needed someone beside him now, to comfort him and to help him stop his mind from raging. Ivan hadn't lied to him. He'd been trying to tell the truth all along.

Footsteps sounded at the end of the hallway. Alfred blew out his candle and hurried away. If Matthew found him snooping around, he'd…

Alfred wasn't even sure anymore.

* * *

Ivan didn't mind his job too much. The harbor granted him anonymity and the heavy lifting kept him strong. He carried crates wherever he was told, never questioning the contents, keeping his eyes and ears open to everything happening around him. Who came? Who left? Who behaved differently from normal? It brought Ivan right into the center of the gossip, and he soaked up all the information he could get.

"You! Help me carry these boxes to the square!"

On moments like these, Ivan took a deep breath and reminded himself that there were worse jobs out there. "Yes, ma'am." He lifted the crates onto a cart and followed the woman into town.

The market was in full swing and Ivan had to evade the people and the goods. He followed the woman to a jewelry stall. "Help me unpack," she said, shoving a few extra coins into Ivan's hand. He opened the crates and started arranging the shiny objects inside.

"Excuse me, can you help me?"

Ivan plastered a smile on his face for the customer. That smile faded, however, when he looked right into familiar blue eyes.

Alfred wore a cloak, which shielded his identity somewhat. Guards were standing not too far away. "I'm looking for a gift for my fiance. I want it to be something sincere."

Ivan didn't know what to say. Alfred picked up a random ring and leaned closer, pretending to be interested in the material. "I've been thinking," he whispered, "about what you said."

Ivan swallowed.

"You're my soulmate, aren't you?"

He nodded, not taking his eyes off the ring.

"You've been telling the truth when everyone else has been lying to me." He touched Ivan's hand. "I want to know more. I want to know _you_."

"It's not safe for you to be out here."

"I'm more worried about you. Matthew's set his arrows on you. He wants to find you."

"I'm a fugitive now?"

"Exactly. We need to hide you somewhere where he'll never find you."

A guard approached.

"Meet me at the fence, where you came to see me back then," Alfred said hastily. "I've got a plan."

"I'll be there," Ivan said before quickly picking up a brooch. "Would this be to your fiance's liking?"

"I'm afraid not. Thank you for your help, but I'll have to look elsewhere." He strode away, the guards in tow.

Ivan looked after him. There were a million questions flooding his mind, but he knew he had to wait.

* * *

Ivan started to consider that he might have misheard. That or Alfred couldn't make it. He waited for ages on the damp grass. The bushes gave him moderate cover but he still got nervous whenever a guard walked by. He considered going home when he saw a shadow in the gardens. Alfred hurried towards the fence and searched around for Ivan.

Ivan checked once more for guards before he approached the fence as well.

"I'm sorry,' Alfred whispered. "I couldn't get away earlier."

"It's okay." He looked into those blue eyes and found himself smiling.

Alfred blushed ever so slightly. "We don't have much time."

"You said that Matthew's after me?"

"Yes. He wants you dead or alive. Dead, preferably."

 _Nice._ "Are you saying I have to leave this place?"

"He'd track you down anyway. We need to hide you somewhere where he'll never even look for you." He leaned closer and Ivan's heartbeat sped up. "In this castle."

Ivan let out a short laugh. "What?"

"He'd never suspect it."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Look, we have rooms which have been locked for years. No one ever comes in there. You'll be safe there." He stepped forward, barely stopping himself from grabbing the sharp fence. "Please. I want you to be safe."

Ivan thought for a moment. "If he starts looking for me, he might find people who are… associated with me." _Natalya._ "I won't be able to protect them."

"Tell them to run. If Matthew doesn't know of their existence, they should be safe if they leave as soon as possible."

"I'll tell them." Was he actually doing this? Was he going to hide this close to Lord Matthew? This could offer so many possibilities…

"We need to get you in as soon as possible. Can you be ready tomorrow night?"

"I think so." He searched for those blue eyes in the dark. "I guess we'll properly get to know each other, then."

Alfred bit his lip. "I look forward to it."

Ivan couldn't help but smirk at the cute lord in front of him. _And so it begins._


	4. Chapter 4

"I don't like this plan," Natalya grumbled.

"You've been saying that ever since I came back."

"Well, I still mean it just as much."

Ivan packed the last of his knives. "Have you got everything?"

"Yeah." She held the small bag with her possessions and looked away from him, pouting.

"Here." He gave her some extra food. "It's a long journey."

"Thanks." She hugged him. "Don't you dare die in some stupid way."

He chuckled. "Don't worry. Now, go. I want you out of here before I enter the lion's den."

She kissed him on his cheek before she grabbed her sack and walked off into the night, only looking back once before she disappeared around the corner.

"I promise you can come back soon..." He took his own belongings and made his way through the dark of the night.

* * *

The last time Alfred had walked through the tunnel, had been with Lord Arthur. He'd shown him the escape route. To Alfred, it had been an adventure. It felt the same way now while making his way to the exit, hoping to find Ivan there. He kept looking behind him, trying not to stumble with only the candle to light his way. He pushed against the door, which didn't give way right away. When it did, he felt the night sky tickle his face, and he looked around him. "Ivan?"

Nothing.

He stepped all the way out of the tunnel and looked around him. Only lots of trees and darkness.

"Right here."

Alfred jumped up and turned around. He only saw the big tree, with the tunnel's entrance in its broad stem. "Hello?"

Ivan appeared from behind the tree. "You need to learn to watch your back, my lord."

Alfred turned red. "Y-yes..."

Ivan looked into the tunnel. "Did anyone follow you?"

"No. These tunnels only get used in case of emergency. I was alone in my room when I entered it."

"Can others follow us inside?"

Alfred shook his head. "It's guarded by magic. You can only get in if Matthew or I take you."

 _Dammit._ "Let's hurry. The longer we're out here, the bigger the chance that someone will see."

"Right." Alfred held out his hand and his heart fluttered when Ivan took it. He was a bit taken aback by how cool Ivan remained through all of this. He himself had been fidgeting all day long. Maybe Ivan would thaw a bit when they were safely inside.

They disappeared into the tunnel and Alfred tried not to think too hard of Ivan's hand in his or the other's steady breathing. Dazed, he took a wrong turn, and when he stopped to turn around, Ivan bumped into him. He stammered and mentally crashed for a moment, but Ivan barely responded.

After an increasingly awkward journey, Alfred managed to guide them into the right room. He had to take a deep breath when he saw his parents' bedroom again for the first time in so long. It was exactly how they'd left it; not even the dust seemed to have moved.

"Is this it?" Ivan asked, trying not to breathe too deeply to keep the dust out of his nose.

"It is." He blew out his candle. "No one has been here in years. No one will be for some more years."

"And no one will notice I'm here?"

"My father soundproofed the room with magic. Matthew refuses to tell me why. He says I can't handle that knowledge or something."

"Right… what will I eat?"

"We'll have to be careful, but I think I can sneak you food about twice a day without getting noticed. I'll share my breakfast with you; they always make loads."

Ivan sat down on the soft bed. "Won't anyone notice that you're eating for two all of a sudden?"

"The servants will, but they don't have any reason to tell Matt. They only report things to him if he asks them to. They won't speak on their own. Besides, I always feel like they like me better, somehow..."

Ivan raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know how long you'll have to stay here, but… Well… It's a nice opportunity, isn't it? I-I mean, not that Mattie wanting to kill you with his bare hands is a good thing!"

"Where's your fiance?" Ivan tried and failed to keep the accusatory tone out of his voice.

"He had to leave. I don't know when he'll be back."

"And he won't mind you keeping your soulmate hidden in your late parents' bedroom? Or do you do the same thing with him?"

"I..."

There were footsteps outside the room. Alfred quickly relit his candle. "I've got to go, the castle's waking up. I'll bring you something to eat as soon as I can." He disappeared into the tunnel, the closet door falling back into place behind him.

* * *

Alfred jumped up at the knock on his door. He quickly shoved his breakfast tray under his bed; if Matthew saw it completely finished, he'd have questions for sure. "Almost done!" he said, pretending to quickly put on some clothes.

"Take your time," Matthew said.

"I'm ready!"

Matthew entered. "You're having a slow start this morning. Did you not sleep well?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes… Couldn't quite settle down..."

"Happens to everyone." He looked over some of the books on Alfred's desk, making sure the subject matter was appropriate for him. "I'll be heading out for the day. Some business on the outer fields. I'll be back before dinner."

 _A whole afternoon alone with Ivan._ "I think I'll relax in the bath. The weather's terrible anyway. I'll probably take a nap afterwards."

"Yes, you should." Matthew finished his daily semi-inspection. "Why don't you write Kiku a letter?"

"Oh… Yes, I could do that."

"Just bring it to me when you're done. I'll make sure it'll be delivered to him shortly."

"I will."

Matthew looked the place over one last time. His eyes rested on the bedside table, where the breakfast tray usually ended up. It wasn't there, however, even though Alfred wasn't even dressed yet… "Have the servants come by already?"

"Yeah, to collect my tray and lay out some clothes. I'll ring them later for the bath."

"I see..." He went back to the door.

"Have a safe trip!"

"Will do."

Alfred let out a breath when Matthew closed the door behind him. He couldn't move just yet; Matthew was still in the castle and at risk of noticing something. So instead, he grabbed paper and a pencil and ink to kill the time. _My beloved Kiku..._

* * *

"It's okay, I'll ring if I need anything." Alfred ushered the servants out. "I just need some private relaxing time." When they were all out of his room, he slipped into the tunnel. "Psst?"

Ivan looked up from the book he was reading—it was his primary source of entertainment. They had to be careful about it though. Matthew checked often which books Alfred had in his room, so they had to make sure the right books were back in Alfred's room at the right time.

"The bath is ready."

"How long does that give us?"

"About an hour. I should make sure to actually soak in it, though. Mattie notices everything."

Ivan sneezed. The room's dust was claiming him as well. "And my bathing session?"

"Yes, that's arranged as well. So much to do..."

"You've been writing."

"Mm?"

Ivan nodded to the ink stain on Alfred's hand. "Oh, yes… Mattie told me to write a letter to Kiku."

"What did you write?"

Alfred sat down on the bed next to Ivan. "That I miss him and hope that he's well. Nothing exciting."

"Are you still going to marry him?"

"I..." He traced a fold in the blanket. "I don't know..." He looked up and Ivan felt an emotion he had hoped to evade for at least a while longer: guilt. Alfred looked at him with innocent, trusting eyes, unaware that he was being used left and right. And Ivan played a part in it as well. "Would you mind? If I married Kiku?"

"Yes." That was too quick, too loud, and too true.

"You would?"

"You're my soulmate. We're meant to be together. Why would I be happy to see you walk off with someone else?"

"Would you run away with me?" Alfred leaned forward and grabbed Ivan's hands. "Like the lovers in those novels? Will you steal me away in the dark of the night?"

Ivan didn't know what to answer. He couldn't afford to care. Not yet. Not while Lord Matthew was still alive. He had to contain his feelings for now. Not yet, not yet… "Yes."

Alfred looked at him with a big smile and glowing eyes. Ivan was about to say something, deny or downplay what he just said, when his lips met with Alfred's. He tensed for a moment, thinking about pulling away, but Alfred's soft hands on his face paralyzed him and made him lean in instead. Everything about Alfred was soft; his hands, his lips, even the stars in his eyes. Too soon Alfred broke the kiss. "We need to go use that bath..."

Ivan just nodded, unable to form words. Too soon, too soon…

"I'm sorry, I should have asked..." Alfred said, suddenly insecure.

"No, it's okay… Just a surprise..."

He looked down with a frown and it broke Ivan's heart. He tilted Alfred's chin up and gave him a quick kiss. "Let's take that bath now."

Alfred nodded, blushing.

* * *

Ivan helped Alfred scoop water from the bathtub into the big water basin on the wall. "Do you know how it works?" Alfred asked.

"I've seen it in working."

"I'd help you, but..."

"I can manage."

Alfred left him with a towel and a washcloth. Ivan pulled on the chain hanging from the basin, releasing the plug and sending a stream of water down on him. He grabbed the washcloth and washed himself. When he was done, he pulled on his only set of clean clothes. They had to find a way to get his dirty clothes washed. "It's all yours."

Alfred looked up from a book he was reading. "Could you find everything?"

"Yes, no problem. See you later." He winked and disappeared into the tunnel, leaving a blushing Alfred behind.

But he wasn't going back to his room just yet. He had barely been able to keep himself from snooping around last night, not daring two risky operations in one night. But now, having settled in, he was ready to look around. And his first destination was nothing less than the private chambers of Lord Matthew himself.

After stumbling in the dark for a while, he reached his goal.

Lord Matthew's bedroom was nothing short of grand, with carpets hanging from the walls to keep the warmth inside. Ivan peeked through the closet doors, but the room was empty. He stepped out and looked around him. The room was tidy to a fault as if even dust and mess knew to stay away.

Ivan snooped around, not sure what he was looking for. He couldn't just kill Lord Matthew; it would only create chaos and power struggles. He had to find a way to systematically undermine him and to give Alfred power in the process. And for that, he needed information. As much as he could gather.

He pulled open some drawers, careful not to leave any traces. There were some letters, some notes, which he memorized. Nothing about Alfred, except for some letters from Lord Kiku about him. He pulled open another drawer and found some vials filled with a purple liquid. He picked one up and inspected it. What could it be? A medicine? Was Lord Matthew sick?

There was a book underneath the vials and Ivan picked it up. It was a magic book. Not surprising, considering the previous king. He leafed through it, but couldn't find the potion in question right away. He'd have to spend more time searching for it, but right now he wanted to get a general idea of the room. So, he put the book down again and continued exploring the room.

In the nightstand drawer, there was a box. Ivan took it out and opened it. There were letters in them, lots of letters. He took one out. The paper was worn and there were several water stains on it.

 _My dearest cuddle bear,_

 _I've been thinking about you. My boss scolded me for not paying attention, but I can't stop thinking about your blue eyes looking up at me while I hold you in my arms._

 _I've been thinking, and I want to stay longer with you next time. I can't say for sure yet whether I'm ready to take on the position, but I do know that I want to see you again, as soon as I can._

 _Oh, and about Alfred, I know someone who has a child just like him. Would you like me to ask them to send you a letter? I'm sure Alfred doesn't mean to be this way, and we can work together with him to make him better._

 _Next time I'll_

"Where's Alfred?"

Ivan dropped the box with letters at the sound of Lord Matthew's voice in the hallway. He quickly gathered them, closed the box, and put it back in the drawer.

"He's in the bath, my lord."

Ivan made a sprint for the closet and closed the doors just as Lord Matthew walked into the room.

"Has he behaved?"

"Certainly, my lord."

Ivan quietly slid open the back compartment of the closet and disappeared into the tunnel. He had some questions for Alfred.


	5. Chapter 5

_Three years earlier_

Matthew watched a bird hop around between the grass. If they stayed here any longer, he'd surely fall asleep. The sun warmed his face and the steadily rising and falling chest beneath him was like a lullaby.

"Don't fall asleep on me now."

Matthew smiled. "I'm comfortable."

Gilbert plucked a flower and tucked it between Matthew's hair. "There. You're camouflaged now."

"Will no one find me?"

"They won't. And you can stay here with me forever and ever."

Matthew looked up into Gilbert's red eyes. One of those used to be his. "I'd like that."

Gilbert smirked and leaned closer. Matthew closed the distance between them and softly captured Gilbert's lips.

"...I love you."

"I know you do." Matthew brushed the white hair aside. "I love you too."

* * *

"That tickles."

Ivan hummed as he kept pressing kisses along Alfred's neck.

"Favorite season?"

"Winter. I love the snow. And you?"

"Summer all the way. I love being in the sun."

"You don't come outside often." Ivan leaned his head against Alfred's and pulled him closer, making the water in the bathtub slosh around.

"Matthew doesn't want me to. He's protective like that."

"Maybe I'll kidnap you." He kissed Alfred's cheek.

"You're here to steal me away?"

"Maybe I am."

Alfred sighed and leaned back. "Matthew would be so sad."

"He can come visit us." _Enough, Ivan._

"He'd be lonely if I left. If only Gilbert was still around..."

"Gilbert?"

"His soulmate."

Of course. Ivan, or everyone else for that matter, never questioned why both of Matthew's eyes were the same color. "What happened to him?"

"He had to leave. Matthew doesn't want me asking about the details, he says it upsets him."

"Did they fight?"

"I don't think so. It's a shame. Matthew hasn't been smiling as much since Gilbert left."

"Then we must find him." If he could get this Gilbert on his side…

"Where would we even start?"

"We'll gather clues and set up our investigation."

"Like in a mystery novel?" Alfred said excitedly.

"Exactly."

"That sounds like so much fun! I hope we'll find him. It'll make Matthew so happy."

"I'll set it up and we can start tomorrow."

Alfred leaned back and kissed him.

"W-What was that for?" Ivan cursed how easily Alfred could make him blush.

"Just because I like you, a lot."

"Well, that's fortunate, because I like you too, a lot." _Ivan!_

Alfred kissed him again and Ivan pulled him close. Their legs entangled and Ivan found himself wanting to do things which it was much, much too early for…

"We should get out," Alfred breathed against his lips. "The servants will start to wonder what's taking me so long."

Ivan nodded, only half hearing his words. Alfred climbed out of the tub, waiting for Ivan to do the same. He wrapped a big fluffy towel around both of them; they had to share one to avoid suspicion. Ivan held him close and pressed kisses all over his face, promising himself that each is the last one, just one more, he'll stop after this one… He didn't stop. Alfred let out a content sigh as Ivan moved his lips down to his neck, his hands slowly making their way around.

"Ivan, I…"

"Yes?" Ivan stayed still, his lips buried in the blond hair.

"I'm engaged…"

Ivan waited a few seconds before he'd say something he'd regret. "You're still planning on marrying him?"

"I don't know if I have a choice."

"...Then I'll kidnap you. In the depth of the night."

"Ivan, I don't know… I need time to think about this."

"Of course. Take all the time you need." He stole one more deep, drawn-out kiss, and then moved away to pull on his clothes.

* * *

Alfred practically floated through the hallways. This was what he had read so much about, and had dreamed of for so long: love. His heart felt too big for his chest and he had to be careful not to spontaneously burst out in song. Maybe he should consider letting Ivan steal him away…

Alfred knocked on the door of Matthew's study.

"Come in."

He opened the door, trying to tone down his big smile somewhat. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, have a seat."

He sat down in the chair in front of Matthew's desk, waiting for his brother to finish up some documents.

Out of all the rooms in the castle, this was perhaps the most interesting to Alfred. He wasn't allowed to enter without permission, and the thick wooden door hid whatever took place inside. He often fantasized about all the secret meeting he was sure took place here. His strong brother, working hard to keep the peace and outsmart the rebels.

Yes, the large study reeked of secrets, hidden in the dark furniture, or perhaps behind the heavy blood red curtains. It was different back when Lord Arthur was still alive. Alfred used to spend many hours in the study, playing, reading, or just watching his father work.

"So..." Matthew put the documents aside. "You've managed to entertain yourself yesterday while I was away?"

"Yes, I've done some reading."

"Well, at least you're honest about that."

Alfred looked confused. "I'm not sure what you're talking about?"

Matthew folded his hands in front of him on the desk. "Do you remember when we were children and father and papa were planning a surprise for us? You were so curious that you went investigating and ruined the surprise. It seems you haven't learned much since then."

"Matt… What's going on?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Alfred. We both know what you've been doing yesterday."

A cold shiver ran down Alfred's spine. Did Matthew know about Ivan? Was he being captured as they were speaking? "I-It's not what it looks like!"

"Do you like hurting me so much? You'd go this far to humiliate me?"

"N-No! That's not why I did it!"

"I do try to love you, Alfred, but you make it so difficult sometimes. What would Lord Kiku think?"

"Please, don't tell him!"

"He should know what kind of man he's marrying, and he must be prepared for you to go behind his back."

Alfred swallowed and straightened his back. "I think soulmates should be together, whether you agree or not."

"What happened between Gilbert and me is none of your business! Your foolish fantasies don't give you the right to go poking through my letters!"

Alfred blinked at him. Letters? What letters?

"You didn't even have the intellect to put them back the way you found them, how typical!" Matthew sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Every single time I think we're making progress, you turn around and do something like this. Can't you see how tired I am, Alfred? Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to keep helping you when all you do is hurt me?"

Alfred was stuck with a lump in his throat. He had no idea what he'd done wrong, and he was torn between relief that Ivan was safe, and the pain of seeing his brother so sad.

"I see no choice but to try again. Any other person would have given up on you by now, do you realize that, Alfred? I simply care so much about you that I'm willing to stand the pain."

Alfred nodded, his head hung low. "I'll wait in my bedroom..."

"Good. I'll be there shortly."

He pushed himself up from his chair, limbs heavy as he dragged himself back to the place he had left so happily just moments earlier.

* * *

If they were going after Gilbert, Ivan would need to study those letters again. But this time he intended to be more careful. He slipped into the tunnels and headed to Matthew's room, but stopped when he passed Alfred's. He recognized Lord Matthew's voice inside.

"Give me your arm."

Ivan climbed into the closet and looked through the keyhole into the room. Alfred was laying on his big bed, one arm bared. Lord Matthew circled him with what looked like a needle. Ivan pressed himself closer against the door and spotted a purple liquid. What on Earth was that?

"Don't worry, Alfred. Your big brother will always protect you. Even from yourself."

Alfred was visibly shaking as Matthew guided the needle into his arm, forcing the liquid in. Alfred trembled for a while longer until his muscles relaxed and his breathing evened out. Matthew leaned over him. "You are not to go through my personal belongings. Soulmates are not important and you won't speak of them again. Every time you misbehave, you are not only hurting me but Lord Kiku as well."

"Kiku..." Alfred breathed out.

"Yes. I'll be back in a while. I expect you to have an apology ready." Matthew moved away.

Ivan listened for the sound of the door closing and footsteps fading away. He waited a bit longer, just to be sure, and then pushed the closet door open. "Alfred?"

He didn't respond.

Ivan came closer and noticed Alfred's misty eyes. "What did he do to you..." He sat down on the bed and took Alfred's hand in his. He watched how the blue eyes slowly moved to focus on him.

"Soulmate… Bad..."

"Alfred, what is Lord Matthew doing to do?"

"Kiku..."

Ivan sighed and laid down on the bed, holding him close. He had so many things to do. He needed to find out what this drug was, what it did, and why Lord Matthew was using it on Alfred. Then he had to kick Lord Matthew so hard that he'd be _seeing_ purple for the rest of his days. But right now, he had to hold Alfred close and chase all his worries away.

* * *

"Matthew, why did you come here?"

Matthew sat down in front of the prison door. "I just wanted to see you."

"You only come here when you need something."

He sighed. "Alfred's been going through our letters, who knows why. He'd sloppily put them back, and while I tidied them… I ended up rereading some."

"Mattie…"

"I know, I know. It's foolish. Our time has passed. There was nothing to be done about it."

"...You put me in a prison cell."

"Let's not focus on such details. Do you remember when we snuck out to the flower fields?"

"What did you do to Alfred?"

He clenched his fists. "Why must you always bring up Alfred?"

"Why must you always hurt everyone around you?"

"I'm not hurting him, I'm helping him!"

"You know, I think you actually believe that."

Matthew pushed himself up. "I'll be back later. I hope that then you'll-"

"Behave better? Or else you'll drug me up like Alfred?"

"Gilbert!"

"Get out of here."

Matthew did an attempt at straightening his back and looking tough before he stormed away, slamming the door to the tower behind him.

Gilbert sighed and fell back onto his bed.


	6. Chapter 6

Alfred felt the strong arms around him and relished in their warmth. He smiled as he woke and he sighed contently as his eyes fell on Ivan's sleeping face. He placed a kiss on the large nose and chuckled as Ivan stirred.

Some footsteps in the hallway shocked him back into reality.

"Ivan, Ivan wake up…!"

Ivan let out a low groan and rolled onto his back.

"Ivan, if the servants come in you're dead…!" His mind was still fuzzy from the medicine and he swayed as he pushed himself up. He shook Ivan's shoulder, and when that didn't work, he tried to grab both his shoulders and lift him up. He lost his balance and ended up straddling Ivan, falling forward so their foreheads almost touched.

Ivan slowly opened his eyes and cocked an eyebrow. "Good morning."

"I… Ah… It's not what it seems like…" He wondered if protesting would make the situation better or worse.

"You could've just asked. I was under the assumption that you'd want to wait."

Alfred's face turned redder than Matthew's expensive carpets. He could've sworn he had something to say, but he couldn't remember what…

Ivan smirked and leaned up to steal a kiss. "What's for breakfast?"

"I… Um…"

"You? Then it must be my lucky day."

Alfred gaped like a fish as his mind—and his body—were on fire. Ivan pulled him in for a kiss and Alfred melted, wanting to do things he'd never wanted before.

Another set of footsteps made Alfred jump. "Ivan, not here. It's too dangerous."

"Right…" He tried to hide his disappointment.

"You need to leave, the servants can come in at any moment."

"Are you okay?" Ivan cupped his face and searched for signs of the drug.

"Just a little dizzy. I'm used to it by now."

"What is that stuff?"

"It's my medicine." Alfred pulled the blankets away.

"Your medicine?"

"Ivan, you need to leave now." He tried to push the other out of the bed. He'd forgotten how weak the medicine made his muscles…

"Then come with me. Into the tunnels."

"I can't, I—"

There was a knock at the door. "Lord Alfred?"

"Quickly!" Alfred hissed. He urged Ivan to the wardrobe and the latter dove into the tunnels just before a servant came in.

"Good morning, my lord. I have your breakfast here for you."

"Ah, thank you." Alfred tried to relax on the bed. "Will my brother be coming to see me?"

"Not for a few more hours, my lord. He's in a meeting with his advisors."

"I see."

The servant left the breakfast tray on the bed and Alfred couldn't help but hold in his breath until he was alone again. He ran towards the entrance of the tunnel, stumbling from the dizziness and his legs feeling like jelly. "Ivan?"

"Ah, there you are." He practically pulled Alfred inside.

"Ivan, we need to be more careful. What if the servant had come sooner?"

"I know, I know. Now, what is that medicine?"

"I…" Alfred bit his lip. "You wouldn't like me if you found out..."

Ivan cupped his face and gently kissed his lips. "Try me."

Alfred blushed.

"Why don't we go for a walk?"

"A walk? Through these tunnels?"

"Yes, why not? Come on." Ivan took his hand and they started walking.

They were silent while Alfred gathered his courage. "I'm not a good person..."

"You? Not a good person? Impossible."

"I'm serious, Ivan. There's something wrong with me. I hurt people. That medicine controls it."

"And Lord Matthew's the one giving it to you?"

"Yes… He's not a bad person either."

"I never said he was." This wasn't the moment to tell Alfred how he really felt about their benevolent ruler.

"He's a little… rough around the edges. But he's stressed out a lot. He… It can't be easy, having to rule." He could never find the words to describe his brother. Yes, sure, he could be… scary… but he was good at heart, really.

"He wants me dead."

"Well, yes… He's protective like that." Alfred stopped walking. They were right by the one-way mirror right opposite their family portrait. Lord Arthur had shown them how it worked when Matthew and he were children. In case of danger, they could move the mirror aside and enter the tunnels, and then watch the enemies from there. "Dad had a way with magic."

"What was that?"

"My father, Lord Arthur. He knew all about magic."

"That's no secret."

"Mattie said that Dad created my medicine shortly before he died. He says Dad would want me to take it."

Ivan swallowed his words. If he spoke his mind, it might chase Alfred away. He could only gently prod and let Alfred reach his conclusions himself. "As the story goes, Lord Arthur was… unstable… right before his death."

"I don't remember much of it. Mattie said that Dad had taught him magic and that he wanted Mattie to protect me from myself."

"But if it's true that he wasn't himself…" Ivan didn't know how to bring up the death of Alfred's parents. For the people, it was common knowledge what had happened, but for Alfred, it was his own family tragedy.

"My memories of that time are foggy." Alfred looked at the family portrait as if the answers were somehow hidden in there. "I remember Papa getting sick and dying, and Dad locking himself away."

"Searching for magic to bring back Lord Francis…"

"Until a spell went wrong and killed him. That's what I've heard, at least. My memory's all jumbled up..." He looked at the image of Matthew on Lord Francis' lap, smiling widely. "He wasn't always like this..."

"Who?"

"Mattie. We used to play together all the time. But after we lost our parents, he changed. At least, that's what I think what happened. I always feel like he'd changed before that already, but that's nonsense, right? It was the death of our parents and Mattie suddenly having to take over. What else could it have been, right?"

Ivan just listened to him, wondering what was the truth and what was a drug-induced lie.

"Dad taught Mattie magic, and now he uses it to help me."

"By altering your memories?"

"He only does that to keep me from doing harm."

"He erased me. He made you believe that Lord Kiku is your soulmate. What else has he changed that you don't even know of?"

"I..." Alfred looked at the painting, trying to dig up memories of when his family was together and happy. "It can't have been much."

"Alfred… Do you remember that you were the heir to the throne? Or did Lord Matthew alter that too?"

"Me?" Alfred scoffed. "I don't know what stories the people make up, but I was never the heir. That was always Mattie. Even though Dad wasn't his father, he still accepted him as his own."

"He wasn't. You were. The whole land celebrated when you were born. I was still young, but even I remember your name being everywhere."

"No… No, Mattie wouldn't do such a thing."

Alfred turned away and Ivan sensed that this was his cue to stop pressing. He couldn't risk pushing Alfred away. "How are you feeling? Is the medicine starting to wear off?"

"Not much yet. After years, I've gotten used to the dizziness, but it's still there."

Ivan took Alfred's hand and squeezed it. "What else does that medicine do?"

"I think it makes me weaker, physically. I feel like a rag doll. And my head, it's filled with cotton. It's almost impossible to think about difficult things. It makes my head hurt…"

"How long does it take for it to wear off?"

"About a week, I think. I have a suspicion that Mattie slips it into my food..."

"Is there an antidote?" Ivan found himself wanting to do anything to make Alfred feel better.

"An antidote?" Alfred frowned. "I don't see why there would be."

"Then we need to find a sample of the medicine so I can take it to someone who will create an antidote."

"But..." Alfred looked at the painting, his hand on the mirror. "What if I become a bad person?"

"Alfred, look at me."

He didn't.

"Alfred..." Ivan cupped his dace and Alfred's eyes crept up to meet his. "Do you trust me?"

"Trust you? But… Of course." Alfred put his hands on Ivan's chest, gripping his shirt ever so slightly. "You're my soulmate. I… I love you."

If it wasn't for years of controlling his emotions, Ivan's legs would have turned into jelly at that moment. But the fact that he could control his emotions did not mean that the words were meaningless to him. "I love you too."

Alfred sucked in a breath and bit his lip, cheeks flushed.

"Alfred, I know that you're a good person, even if you were made to believe you're not. Even if you're not the person that medicine turned you into, I refuse to believe that the real Alfred is any less than wonderful."

Alfred looked down. "I… I don't even know who I really am..."

"Then let's go find out."

"W-what?"

Ivan took his hand firmly. "Let's go look for that medicine and find out what it does exactly. If we know what it changes... "

"Maybe we'll know what's real and what's not."

Ivan kissed his cheek. "Exactly."

Alfred blushed. "I know where to start."

"Lead the way."


	7. Chapter 7

They sneaked through the tunnels, Alfred leading the way, their fingers intertwined. Alfred tried to picture how he would walk through the normal halls, and how that would translate into the tunnel system. Ivan stayed close behind him the whole time and they stopped at every turn to share a word or a kiss.

"We should be right next to Matthew's study now," Alfred said. "If I remember it well, the magic room should be nearby. But my memories are too foggy to tell where exactly."

"It's okay. We can start from here."

Alfred nodded and studied the opening to the study. It seemed to be carved right into the wall.

"This doesn't look to be a cabinet," Ivan said.

"I don't think it is. Let's see..." He looked through the window, picturing the layout of the room in his mind. "This must be the mirror. It's just like the one by the painting."

"Does Matthew know that his study can be entered this way?"

"I don't think Matthew knows much about the tunnels. I didn't either until I read up on it in the library."

"Well, it does serve us right now." Ivan stuck his hand out and tried to climb through the mirror, but couldn't get through. "What the…"

"What's wrong?"

"Well, it's glass. I can't walk through it."

"And there's no way to move it aside? It's not a hidden door?"

"It doesn't seem to be. Are you sure it's an entrance?"

"Well, no, but…" Alfred stuck his hand out as well, and it went right through.

"How did you do that?"

"I don't know, it's like that glass isn't even there." He stepped through entirely, and then he was standing in the study. He looked behind him, but only saw the mirror. Ivan wasn't visible behind it. "Ivan?"

There was no answer.

Alfred stuck his head through the mirror, and now he could see Ivan and the tunnel once more.

"How did you do that?" Ivan asked.

"I just walked though."

Ivan touched the mirror again, but just like before, it didn't give way. "Maybe only you can do it."

"That does seem like something Dad would do." He grabbed Ivan's hand. "Let's try it this way." He pulled Ivan towards him, and this time, he did melt through the mirror.

Alfred didn't let go until they were both on the other side. "That was awesome!" he said. "I think we should be happy Matthew doesn't know about the tunnels the way we do."

"Speaking of Matthew, we should hurry in case he comes back early." Ivan looked around. "I'm not seeing any doors that could lead to a side room."

"I think I remember this… Or maybe I don't…"

"It's okay." Ivan put his hand on Alfred's shoulder. "Don't strain yourself."

Alfred gave him a small smile before continuing to rack his brain. "It was something to do with a bookcase." He walked up to the shelves filled with books. "Dad liked simplicity. He wouldn't turn this into some complicated puzzle." He felt the edges of the case. "If there's a door, it should be right behind here."

"Do you want me to see if I can move it?"

"Yes, go ahead."

Ivan rolled up his sleeves and grabbed the side of the bookcase. He started lifting and groaned with the effort it took.

Alfred's mind wandered to the image of Ivan's muscles rippling with every movement. He wondered what it would look like if he took off his shirt, the sweat dripping down his solid chest…

"Alfred?"

Might as well get rid of his pants too…

"Alfred, are you listening?"

And now that glorious body was moving right towards him…

"Alfred? Are you okay?"

"W-What?" He looked up from those strong arms, right into Ivan's eyes.

"You seemed zoned out for a bit there."

"Oh? Oh… Oh!" His blood rushed to his face.

Ivan smirked. "It looks like you had something interesting going on."

"N-Not at all! I was just… I was thinking about the door mechanics!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really. What else could I have been thinking of?"

"Something… pleasant?" Ivan winked at him.

Alfred turned even redder than before.

"Come on, there's time for that later. Right now, we need to solve the problem of the bookcase."

"The problem? What problem is there?"

"I can't seem to lift it."

"Maybe it's too heavy with all the books."

"I don't think that's the problem. It seems to be stuck to the floor."

"Stuck to the floor?" Alfred walked closer to inspect it. Wanting to feel for himself, he grabbed the side of the bookcase and pulled.

One second later, the bookcase had moved, and Alfred was on the ground. He'd put all his strength behind it, and when it gave way, he'd stumbled backward.

"Are you okay?" Ivan was by his side, helping him up.

Alfred tried not to get too carried away by the strong arms around him. He swallowed and forced himself to clear his mind. "That wasn't heavy at all."

"Maybe this is another thing only you can do."

"Could be. I never knew there were so many secrets only I can unlock." He pulled the bookcase away further, revealing the door behind it. He pushed it open. "It's dark in here."

Ivan stepped beside him. "I can't see a thing."

"I don't think there are any windows in there." Alfred pulled the bookcase back in place behind them.

"Alfred, look."

Candles had lit up on their own, illuminating the round room.

"What is this place?" Ivan marveled.

"This is Dad's magic room!"

Along the walls were tables filled with books and flasks and herbs of every kind. In the middle was a big pot over a fire.

Alfred took a step forward, but then stopped. Memories washed over him like a flood, tightening his throat.

"Alfred?"

"I've been here before." He could see his father move around the room, explaining everything he did. Alfred looked on, fascinated. "That chair in the corner… That's where I used to sit…"

"When you were a child?"

"Yes. I would come here all the time." Tears pricked in the corners of his eyes as he was overwhelmed by feelings from the past. "He let me chop up some of the ingredients… He'd lift me so I could throw them in the pot…"

"Lord Arthur was a skilled sorcerer, everyone knows that."

"I never understood what he was doing, but I was happy to be a part of it." He walked along the tables, his fingertips brushing over the wood. This room had a particular smell, and Matthew sometimes had it on him. Alfred would wonder about it every time, but now he knew where he recognized it from. "It feels like coming home…"

Ivan came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It wasn't fair of Matthew to keep this hidden from you."

"I'm sure he had his reasons." He looked into the pot. It contained a very familiar purple liquid.

"Alfred? You might want to see this."

Alfred came to where Ivan was standing, bent over a book. "What's that?"

"I think this is about your 'medicine'. Look, it's a recipe for it."

Alfred picked up the book. Sure enough, it told how to prepare the potion he had taken for so long. There were notes scribbled along the sides in Matthew's handwriting. The next few pages detailed what the potion was for, how it worked, the side effects, and how to make an antidote.

"Of course Matthew makes this himself. I mean, who else would he trust with it? But for some reason, I never really realized it was him making it."

"He fooled you in many ways."

"I know…" He read through the pages. "It's meant to weaken people… And take away their magic? What?" He leafed through the book and saw lots of other potions for weakening, most of them far easier than this one. "Why would Mattie make sure to include the erasure of magic?"

"Well, you are Lord Arthur's son. We did always assume you would possess the gift of magic too."

"But wouldn't I have known?"

"If Matthew erased it from your memory?"

Alfred put the book down. A tightness formed in his chest. How much more had been taken from his memory? What was left of him as a person?

Who was he even?

"Are you okay?" Ivan asked, watching Alfred grow paler by the second.

"Who am I? What more did he take from me?" There was a feeling bubbling up inside him that he hadn't dared to feel against his brother before now: anger.

"We will find you back. And in the meantime, there is one thing you can be sure of."

"What is it?" Alfred looked up at him hopefully.

"I'm your soulmate."

He smiled. "Even Mattie can't make me forget about you again."

"Now, let's look into that antidote."

The potion was meant to weaken one's magic to the point of non-existence. The side effects were both memory and muscle loss, as well as general confusion. Alfred wondered if it was mostly the side effects Matthew was after. The antidote was a red liquid with a rosy smell.

"Something like this?" Ivan pointed at three flasks that matched the description. He opened one and sniffed it. "This has to be it."

"That will restore my memory?"

"It's supposed to, yes. Or it will at the very least make your head clearer."

"I wish I could chug it…"

"Matthew would notice. But what we can do…" Ivan grabbed a jug with water.

"What are you doing?"

"We can have you drink some of this without Matthew ever noticing."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure enough." He held up one of the flasks for Alfred. "Take a sip."

"But…"

"I'll add some water to refill it. If we do it with all three flasks, they'll still all look the same, and Matthew will never notice."

Alfred took the flask for him. "We are lucky Mattie has some brewed for us."

"Maybe he wanted to have some ready in case he needed it."

"Are you sure this will work?"

"It might not cure you entirely, but it could do enough to the point where we'll only have to wait for the remainder to wear off."

"Alright. Let's try it, then." He opened the flask.

"Wait."

"What is it?"

"Just remember that I'm here, okay? In case a lot of memories come back, overwhelming you. I am here for you."

Alfred smiled at him and stole a quick kiss. "That means a lot to me." He took a swig of the first flask and then also of the other two. When he was done, Ivan filled the flasks back up with water, closed them, and put them back in their place.

"Do you feel any different?" Ivan asked.

"Not yet. Maybe it needs some time."

"We should probably get out of here. We'll be in trouble if Matthew catches us here."

"You're right. Let's go."

They started to the door, but Alfred spotted something from the corner of his eye. "What's that?" He turned around and approached one of the tables. A book was opened on it, bookmarked on a recipe for an aphrodisiac. "Why would Mattie have interest in this?"

"Maybe it's practice?"

"Mattie doesn't have time for purposeless practice. It has to have a reason."

This book too had notes scribbled all over the page. The letter 'G' was used a lot.

"Gilbert?" Alfred wondered out loud. "But… I thought he was gone?"

"Maybe these notes are from back then?"

"Then why would the book still be opened at this page, right here on the working bench?"

"You think Gilbert is still around somehow?"

"I mean… Mattie never told me where he went. From one day to the next he just… disappeared."

"And not only is he nearby, but Matthew is trying to seduce him?"

"Maybe he's being drugged too." Alfred moved to the door once more. "We have to find out more."

"We should first find a way to find out if you really do have magic."

Alfred stopped just before pushing the bookcase aside "Is it weird to say that I think I do? It's just a hunch, but..."

"I think you may be right. We'll just have to find a way to bring it to the surface."

Alfred smiled. "With you by my side, I can do anything." And with that, he pushed open the door, causing the lights inside the room to die out.

* * *

Matthew tried to keep his patience as he watched Gilbert's back. "You're not going to look at me when I'm talking to you?"

"We have nothing to talk about."

"If you say so." It was fine. Soon, the aphrodisiac would be finished, and then they'd talk for days like they used to.

"How much longer do you think you can keep this up?"

"Keep what up?"

"All of this. Your wicked rule. You can't keep Alfred dumb forever."

"He'll be married to Lord Kiku soon and then he'll be off to a faraway land."

"And then what? Are you going to control Alfred's drugs from afar? What if this Lord Kiku decides to stop giving it to him, and all of his memories return? What if his magic returns?"

"Alfred is no threat to me."

"You're underestimating him. Because of that, your little brother will be your undoing."

"He's not my brother."

Gilbert looked back over his shoulder at him. "So that's how you sleep at night."

"Stop pretending you know anything about me. You never did."

"I did once." He turned back towards the wall. "There was a time when we knew everything about each other. A time when we were in love."

"I… We're still…" Matthew slammed the bars in frustration. It's okay. Soon, Gilbert would love him once more.

"You used to be so beautiful when you smiled." His voice was hoarse, tainted by grief. "I would follow you to the ends of the world. But then you went somewhere where I can't follow."

"Why do you care so much about Alfred? He's nothing."

"The Matthew I know wouldn't say that."

"He's not my brother. He's just an obstacle."

"Because that's how you justify what you do. But it doesn't work on me."

"It will, you'll see. Everything will be alright." He headed to the door. He had to finish that aphrodisiac, soon.

"When Alfred regains his magic, that's when your downfall will begin."

Matthew ignored him and left the tower. He didn't have time for such nonsense.

* * *

"You know, it's really dangerous for you to be here."

Ivan smirked from where he laid on the bed, waiting for Alfred to get ready for the night. "Oh? Afraid I'll get my hands on you?"

"You know what I mean." Alfred sat down on the edge of the bed. "We can't risk you falling asleep here. If a servant catches us in the morning, he'll tell Mattie."

"Then we'd better not sleep." He wrapped his arms around Alfred and pulled him closer.

Alfred looked at Ivan for a moment. "It's a shame. I'd love to wake up next to you in the morning. Without having to panic about the servants, that is."

"I'm sure you'd look ethereal."

"I'd look as happy as I'd feel."

They looked into each other's eyes for a while until it was Ivan who closed the distance and caught Alfred in a deep kiss. Alfred leaned in closer, rolling on top of the larger man. Ivan placed his hands on the other's back, and then moved them lower, cupping the other's behind. "We'll have to be quiet," he breathed.

"If we can sneak into my brother's study, I think we can manage this."

Ivan chuckled softly and flipped them over so he was on top. He slid his hands underneath Alfred's nightgown, relishing in the shivers he could feel going through the other's body.

Alfred's breathing sped up. He tried to remember that this was dangerous, that he should stay alert, but he was too distracted by Ivan's mouth which now made its way down his neck, touching on sensitive spots he didn't even know he had. His hands clawed at Ivan's back, trying to find something to hold onto. He wrapped his legs around Ivan's waist, needing him closer, much closer still. His skin was on fire and he imagined he'd start glowing with pleasure. He tangled his hands in Ivan's hair, feeling that mouth nibbling and leaving marks—until it stopped.

"Alfred?"

"Ivan…"

"Alfred, you're glowing."

"I'm what?"

Ivan took Alfred's arms and held them up for him. Sure enough, there was light coming from the palms of his hands.

"What is that?" Alfred gasped.

"I think that's magic."

"Wow…" He watched his hands as the light slowly disappeared. "How did I do that?"

"I have no idea. But the important thing is, that we now know that you do have magic."

"And Mattie kept it from me all this time…" He looked at Ivan. "I need to know more. I need to know about my magic, and Dad's, and everything else that I've forgotten."

Ivan took his hands and kissed them. "And I'll be with you every step of the way."


	8. Chapter 8

Alfred rubbed his sore hand. He'd tried everything he could think of to light the candle on his nightstand with magic: snapping his fingers, waving his hand, rubbing the fuse…

"You should take a break," Ivan said. "You've been at it for a while now."

"I want to be able to do it already."

"Maybe the trick is to relax." He came up to Alfred and hugged him from behind.

"I wish Dad was here. Maybe he'd have been willing to teach me a thing or two."

Ivan hummed and kissed his cheek.

"What about your Dad? Do you still have your parents?"

"I…" Ivan loosened his embrace. "I'm Ivan Braginsky. That should tell you enough."

"I'm afraid it doesn't. Mattie doesn't want me to bother myself with politics."

"Right…"

Alfred looked over his shoulder at him. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"There is much about your brother that you don't know, Alfred. I don't want to hurt you by telling you things you're not ready to hear."

"What are you talking about?" Alfred fully turned around to him now. "Did Mattie hurt you somehow?"

"Lord Matthew has hurt a lot of people, Alfred. In time, I'm sure you'll learn about everything. But until then…" He cupped his face. "I don't want to drop something on you you're not ready for yet. In time, I'll tell you all about my family, I promise. But for now… you'll have to trust me."

"I do. I do trust you."

Ivan smiled and stole a kiss. "Now, how about you think of something fiery?"

"What?"

"For the candle."

"Oh, right." He stuck his hand out to the candle and thought of fires and hot summer days. But even though he himself was close to breaking out in a sweat from how vividly he imagined being in a desert, the candle didn't even smoke.

What else could he think of that was hot? He did his best to come up with as many heat-related things as he could and approached the concept from many angles. What could be considered hot? Emotions could be hot too, as well as clothes, and Ivan…

Ivan without a shirt…

Ivan on top of him…

Ivan inside…

"You did it!"

"Huh?"

Ivan pointed at the candle. Sure enough, a tiny flame flickered away.

"I did it!"

"What made the difference?"

Alfred hoped his face and voice wouldn't give him away. "Just something extremely hot."

"Well, it worked."

Alfred sat down on the bed. "My magic isn't the only thing we should we concerned about, though. We still have to make sure Gilbert isn't getting hurt."

"Do you have any idea where he might be?"

"I've been thinking about it. There's this tower Mattie goes to all the time. He's forbidden me from entering it. He said it's something personal, and none of my business."

"Even if it's not Gilbert which we'll find there, it's still worth checking out."

"I know, but…" He pulled his legs up to his chest. "It doesn't feel right. Mattie may have lied to me, but he's still my brother. If that tower is really that important to him…"

"What about your memories? Aren't those important to you?"

"Yes, but…"

Ivan sat down by his side. "You keep saying your brother has a good reason for meddling with you. What if we have a good reason for meddling with him?"

"Do we?"

"People are getting hurt. Gilbert could be getting hurt as we speak. Isn't that more important than sparing Matthew's feelings?"

"Mattie wouldn't hurt Gilbert."

"Sometimes we hurt the people we love without intending to. Are you telling me that you've never felt hurt by anything Matthew did?"

Alfred looked down. "I understand. But it won't be easy to break into that tower. It's guarded."

"Then we'd better go in with a plan."

* * *

Alfred tried his best at strolling casually through the hallway which contained the entrance to the tower. After walking through a few more hallways, he arrived back at his room, where Ivan was waiting. "There's a guard," he said.

"Just one?"

"Yes, right in front of the door."

"Well, it's not like they'd need more. I doubt a horde of people would try to break into the tower to free some prisoner they don't even know about."

"Even if it's just one guard, we still have to get past him."

Ivan thought about it. "What weapons does he have?"

"A sword. Nothing else, as far as I can tell. He also has the key to the tower door on his belt."

"There might be a way… Does the guard ever leave his post?"

"Well, he does walk around sometimes, yes."

"If we have the key, then we can sneak inside while the guard is gone."

"But how will we get the key?"

Ivan grabbed Alfred's hands. "Are you ready for more magic?"

"Magic? Me? But… I don't know if I can do it."

Ivan kissed him. "I believe in you."

A few minutes later, they were standing around the corner of the hallway. "Do you see the key?" Ivan whispered.

"I do, but how am I going to get it?"

"You're the sorcerer."

"I just found out about that. How am I supposed to know what to do?"

"I don't know, use your intuition or something."

"You use your intuition…!"

"Shh…!"

Alfred took a breath and thought of what to do. He stuck out his hand, but nothing happened. What was missing? Maybe using his hand wasn't enough. Maybe he needed to engage everything, mind and body. He imagined there was a string between him and the key, and he just had to pull it to move the key towards him. He made a fist around the invisible rope and pulled.

One moment the key was on the guard's belt, the next it was in Alfred's hand.

Because he couldn't cheer, Ivan pulled Alfred in for a hug instead. "And now we have to wait," he whispered in his ear.

Alfred nodded and looked back at the guard.

They ended up having to wait only a few minutes before the guard left his post. They sneaked up to the door—Ivan, due to his years of experience, a lot quieter than Alfred. Alfred tried to stick the key into the door, but his fingers trembled too much and he dropped it.

"It's okay, we have time." But Ivan did look around him, preparing himself to punch a returning guard.

Alfred picked the key up and managed to get it into the lock. He groaned softly as he turned it and pulled open the heavy door. Ivan flinched as the sound echoed through the hallway and he rushed to follow Alfred through. They pulled the door shut together and blinked in the darkness. "I don't think there are any self-lighting candles here," Alfred whispered.

Ivan shook his head, but then realized Alfred couldn't see. "We'll have to feel our way around. I'll go first."

"Why you?"

"Because if I stumble and fall, at least I won't land on top of you and crush you."

"O-Oh..." Alfred thought back to when Ivan was on top of him in the bed. He was thankful for the darkness hiding his expression.

Ivan felt around the wall and placed his foot on the first stair. "Here, take my hand."

Alfred felt for it. "What have I got here?"

"...That's my behind..."

"Oh..." But Alfred didn't pull his hands away. To find his way around Ivan's body more easily, he told himself. He moved his hands around until he had them wrapped around Ivan's bicep. "Will this do?"

"If you hold on tight, yes."

Alfred moved closer and hugged Ivan's arm. "I'm ready."

Ivan didn't even try to suppress his smile in the darkness. He took a step forward and felt how Alfred moved with him. He moved slowly, knowing that taking forever was better than stumbling and making noise.

"Are we almost there?" Alfred whispered.

"It's been five steps."

"Yeah? So?"

"It's a tower. We still have a long way up to go."

"Well, it's not so bad with you here."

Ivan didn't dare try to kiss Alfred's cheek without being able to see, but if he could, he would have.

After an eternity, Ivan bumped into something. "Ouch..." He rubbed his head.

"What is that?"

He felt the barrier. "It's a door."

"That means we made it." Alfred pushed the door open.

It revealed a room split in two by bars. Alfred stepped out into the first part, which only contained a chair. On the other side of the bars, there was a bed, a table, and a pile of books. One window all the way in the back provided all the light in the room.

Alfred took a few steps forward.

"Back so soon?"

He froze.

"Are you here to cry about your failed plans again?"

"Gilbert?"

A figure moved on the bed. "Alfred? Is that you?"

Alfred clutched the bars. "You're here!"

"How did you find me?" Gilbert came closer to the bars. His face was pale and unshaven and he was thinner than Alfred remembered.

"It was a wild guess. It thought that this was where Mattie would hide you."

"Are you okay? Did Matthew give you that potion again?"

"Yes, but we found an antidote."

"We?"

Ivan stepped forward as well.

"Who's this?"

"This is Ivan, my soulmate."

"Your soulmate? But I thought Matt was after him?"

"He is, but he's hiding here. We're working together to recover my memories."

"We want to know what you can tell us," Ivan said. "Maybe we can get you out."

Gilbert scoffed. "Matthew won't let me go that easily."

"What happened?" Alfred asked. "Why would he lock you up?"

"Because I was going to stop him. Because I was going to do the same thing as Ivan here."

"What do you mean?"

"I knew about the potion Matthew was giving you, the things he'd done, the things he was planning on doing. I knew I had to stop him. I was going to cure you, Alfred, and I was going to convince the nobility to force Matthew to step down. I even had half of the Braginsky family on my side…"

"But the other half preferred to keep kissing Lord Matthew's feet," Ivan said. "Ivan Braginsky. I know that family better than anyone."

"They snitched on me. Matthew locked me up in here. He said he'd let me out once I'd side with him. But what he's turned into… I don't even recognize him anymore. Whatever this is, it's not Matt."

"Gilbert," Ivan said, "Alfred doesn't remember that he's the heir."

"He doesn't?

Alfred looked between them. "Matthew 'wouldn't be ruling if I was."

"So he really did it…" Gilbert sighed. "Alfred, you are the rightful ruler. The only reason Matthew is in charge is that you're drugged up."

"No... No, that can't be..."

"Francis already had Matthew when he and Lord Arthur married. But you, you're Lord Arthur's son."

"It doesn't work that way."

"It does, Alfred. You were raised to be the heir."

"No, I'd... I'd remember that. I wouldn't forget about something like that."

"You wouldn't?"

Alfred clutched the bars. "No, I... It can't be..."

"It's okay," Ivan said, rubbing his back. "Take a breath."

"You are our ruler," Gilbert said. "But Matthew is doing everything he can to keep you away from the throne."

"Why..." Alfred breathed.

"Because your brother wants to rule instead. It's what he's wanted for as long as I've known him."

"Do you think that's why he started drugging Alfred?" Ivan asked.

"I know for sure. And he'll keep doing it to stay in control."

"What about magic?" Alfred asked. "Mattie said he was the one with magic, but I have it too."

"Matthew doesn't have any magic. That potion of yours is about the only thing he can make. He wishes he had magic, though. He always wanted what you had. Lord Arthur pent a lot of time preparing you for your future task. Matthew envied you for that."

"This doesn't make any sense… I can't rule a land…" His head hurt from all the contradicting information.

"It's what you were raised to do. But Matthew erased it all from your mind. If we can get your memory back…"

"Then this land might have a righteous ruler again," Ivan said. "We have to overthrow Lord Matthew and replace him with Alfred as soon as his memories are restored."

"Wait, no…" Alfred stepped back. "I can't do it."

Gilbert opened his mouth to protest, but Ivan cut him off. If they pushed Alfred now, they risked losing him altogether. Ivan knew he could convince Alfred in time, but he wouldn't rush it. He'd be terrified himself too. It was a lot of pressure, after all. "Alfred, it's okay."

"I can't rule this land."

"Listen to me." He cupped Alfred's face. "You don't have to rule yet. Right now, we have to work on finding your memories."

"But…"

"If anything happens, if you do end up on the throne somehow, I'll be by your side every step of the way."

Alfred looked at him, a glint of hope in his eyes. "My mind's a lot clearer already."

"That's good enough for now." He looked at Gilbert. "Alfred, why don't you head down the stairs already? I have something to discuss with Gilbert. Boring resistance things. Stuff that would make you fall asleep."

"If you say so..." Alfred headed to the door, not too happy to be sent away. But his head hurt too much to protest. He closed the door behind him.

"I'm with the resistance," Ivan said. "I'm here to bring Lord Matthew down, at all cost."

"I don't want to see Matthew get hurt, but he's a danger to others."

"Alfred doesn't know the lengths I'm willing to go to. He's put his brother on a pedestal."

"Of course he did. That was the whole plan." Gilbert leaned closer and lowered his voice. "Alfred trusts you, that much is clear."

"And I'm supposed to make use of that, I know. But he's also my soulmate."

"Soulmate or not, you have a job to do."

"What about your soulmate?"

He sighed. "This is not Matthew. And the only hope I have for ever getting him back is ending this madness."

"I will succeed."

"You have to. We have to put Alfred on the throne no matter what. Even if it's against his will."

"I'll convince him. And even if I can't... I'll find a way to get it done anyway. Even if it means he'll end up hating me..."

"You're admirable."

"I have to do this for our people. For my family."

"Braginsky, you said..." Gilbert nodded in himself as if going through his memories. "Now that Alfred has his magic again, you should be able to succeed."

"I will."

"You should go now. Alfred's counting on you as much as I am."

Ivan nodded and headed to the door.

"Braginsky?"

He turned around.

"Please. I want my soulmate back."

"I promise."

And with that, Ivan left the tower.

* * *

The feeling of the bed dipping nearby made Alfred smile in his barely-awake state. He pictured Ivan leaning with his hand on the mattress and puckered his lips for a kiss.

"Alfred?"

…That was not Ivan. Alfred opened his eyes. "Kiku?"

"Lord Matthew told me you'd be here."

"I was just taking a nap." He pushed himself up, straightening his face. "When did you return?"

"I just arrived. I won't be staying for too long, but then again, you'll be coming over to my land soon for our wedding."

"Ah, yes…" Amid all the secrets they were uncovering, he'd forgotten about his engagement. And now that his fiance was sitting in front of him, panic crept up on him. He couldn't leave here. He couldn't leave Ivan.

"Alfred, what's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"You can tell me."

Alfred hesitated. But Kiku's eyes were so inviting. "It's dangerous…"

"For you? Are you in danger?"

"I could be…"

"Then you have to tell me." Kiku leaned forward and grabbed Alfred's hand.

"You can't tell Mattie."

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Alfred took a deep breath. "I've found my soulmate."

"I know that. I was there, at the party, when it happened."

"Right… Well, I've been seeing him."

"I hadn't expected otherwise." Kiku didn't look surprised, or sad, but he rather smiled in a supportive manner.

"Mattie can't know."

"No, he can't. And I won't tell him."

A weight fell off Alfred's shoulders. "Thank you." Then, he realized something. "Wait… what about your soulmate?" He looked at Kiku's same-colored eyes. "Haven't you met them?"

Kiku's hand slid from his and he looked down. "I have, yes. But my duties lie here."

"Duties?"

"It's very similar to your situation. Marrying my soulmate wouldn't be politically appropriate. So, here I am. With my fiance."

"There has to be a way for both of us to get what we want."

Kiku looked back up at him. "You're stronger than Lord Matthew gives you credit for. I admire that about you."

"I… If only I could convince Mattie… But my soulmate is in the resistance. He's my brother's enemy. I don't want to have to choose between them, but if I have to… I have no choice but to go with Ivan."

"Lord Matthew won't let you. Not as long as he's in charge, at least."

Alfred studied Kiku's face. Did he detect a slightly resentful tone? "Of course Mattie's in charge. Why would that change?"

"Well, there have been… concerns… about this land."

"Concerns? What kind of concerns?"

"At first we could accept Lord Matthew as this land's ruler. You were young, grieving, and presumably sick. But as it becomes clear that he does not quite know what he's doing, there have been demands to let the real heir take his rightful place."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. More and more voices are asking for you to replace Matthew."

"But... I always thought Mattie was a good lord..."

"I do not like openly judging my fellow rulers, but I must say it: Lord Matthew is unstable, and it's only getting worse. Your people need you."

Alfred rubbed his head. "I don't want to hurt my brother..."

"No one does. But maybe there's another way around it. Maybe Ivan can help you."

"Maybe..." He had to think about it. But for now, he decided to change the topic. "What's your soulmate like? Is he a resistance fighter too?"

Kiku chuckled softly. "No, he... He was a servant of mine."

"A servant?" Alfred exclaimed before clasping his hands over his mouth. "A servant?" he asked again, much softer.

"Yes. He started serving me because he needed money for his family. He despised me, at first. He couldn't stand the luxury I was living in."

"What happened?" Alfred asked excitedly. This was like one of those romance stories he liked to read!

"He served me for quite some time before we found out about each other. Servants tend not to make eye contact with their ruler, after all."

"Oh, that's true!"

"It was clear that he wasn't fond of me, though. He radiated distaste. I let it go for a bit, not keen on putting someone out of their job so easily. But then, one day, I asked him to do something—I can't even remember what. He said 'No.' He then went off on a whole rant about me, and my castle, and my luxury. By the end of it, both our eyes had changed color."

"And then?" Alfred scooted closer, eager for the epic conclusion of the story.

"He left for a while. It was understandable. Neither of us had seen it coming, and it was a shock for both of us. But he came back. One morning, I woke up to him bringing me my breakfast once more."

"And then the two of you fell in love?"

"Over time, yes. We had to be careful and avoid arousing suspicion. But we both knew that we wanted to be together. I was going to propose to him."

"And then?" Alfred asked it more carefully this time. If the marriage had gone through, Kiku wouldn't be here right now. There didn't seem to be a happy ending.

"My advisers didn't agree. Marrying a servant would create a scandal. I tried to change their minds, but I was forbidden from marrying my soulmate. I had to send him away. I haven't talked to him since…"

"But… It shouldn't end like that…"

"I'm afraid we can't always get what we want." He got up from the bed.

"We both have someone else we'd rather be with."

"Then at least we understand each other's feelings."

"There has to be a way."

"Alfred, I'm afraid you don't understand. If I don't do this, your brother will sever all ties with my land. My land depends on yours. I can't do without these connections."

"My brother is forcing this on you?"

"I'm afraid so."

Alfred got sick to his stomach. Who was his brother even? Surely this wasn't the Mattie he remembered. Was it true that he'd changed beyond recognition? Was he dangerous now?

Did he have to stop him?

"I have to go now. Your brother wants to discuss some things with me."

Alfred stood up as well. "Is it true? What you said about my brother? About him being unstable?"

"I… Yes, sadly it is."

"I have to overthrow him, don't I?"

"A lot of people would be grateful if you did."

"Then I will." He clenched his fists. "I… I don't want to, but I'll take charge of this land. I have to do it for our people. And when I succeed… I won't force you to marry me. I'll maintain our ties no matter who you choose to marry."

Kiku smiled. "Thank you. That means a lot to me." He bowed and headed to the door. He stopped just before walking out. "If anyone asks, I didn't say this, but… Good luck."


	9. Chapter 9

Alfred panted and wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Again."

"You need a break," Ivan said.

"I will, just not now. Get ready."

Ivan held up the pillow again. Alfred punched it with as much force as he could, which was a lot more than a few days ago. He'd been training every day and was rapidly growing stronger. He delivered ten more punches to the pillow.

"You've had enough," Ivan said, putting the pillow down. "If you still want to train some more, you can practice your magic."

"Alright, I will."

Ivan poured him a cup of water. "Sit. Drink this. Then you can continue."

Alfred sat down and took a few sips from his drink. "I think I've made a lot of progress."

"You have. Lord Matthew won't know what hit him."

"Literally. He'll never expect my fist." He rested the cup on his leg. "Not that I want to hurt him…"

"I know. Maybe we can resolve this without any major attacks."

"If only." Alfred put the cup aside and stood up again. He lifted the cup with his magic.

"We can't wait much longer. We can't risk Lord Matthew finding out that you're recovering."

Alfred sat back down. "Gilbert said he'd talked to your family too."

"I wasn't very involved in my parent's politics, so most of it I don't remember. But I do remember the arguments within my family, and then having to run, and then hide."

"It must have been hard."

"It was. But it has also made me stronger, in a way."

"Is that why you joined the resistance? For revenge?"

"Out of revenge, yes, and anger, and spite. I knew my sister and I couldn't be the only ones hurt by Lord Matthew's reign."

"Your sister and you... What about your parents? Are they..."

"They're dead."

"How..." But Alfred didn't finish his question. He knew there was a possibility his brother was responsible for the death of Ivan's parents. And he knew he had to face that possibility. But he couldn't. He wasn't ready for it. So, he changed the topic. "You haven't told me much about your sister."

"She's brave and strong. Cold on the outside, but she's caring."

"She can be our maid of honor at our wedding." It was a joke. Kind of.

"Our wedding? I hadn't even thought about that yet."

"Neither have I. You know, with all things going on..." But truth was, he had thought about it. A lot. He'd thought about his dream wedding with his soulmate, but now that he'd spent time with Ivan, he was ready to jump into it. A bit enthusiastic, maybe. But then again, they were born to be together.

"How about we work on solving our situation as quickly as possible so that after that, we can focus on our happy ever after."

"I like the sound of that." He went back to lifting the cup.

"How about tomorrow?"

"T-Tomorrow?" The cup fell to the floor, its contents spilling everywhere.

"You're strong enough. All you have to do is defeat Lord Matthew in combat. You're already the rightful heir."

"Don't we need more proof?"

"There aren't many people who still support your brother. They only obey him because they're afraid. If you step up, they'll follow you."

"I don't know... Maybe we should wait a little longer..."

Ivan grabbed Alfred's arm. "Alfred. This isn't fun and games. We don't have the luxury of waiting."

Something had changed in Ivan's eyes, Alfred thought. He almost looked... angry. "Ivan?"

"You may have all the time in the world, but out there, people are dying. People are dying because of your brother every day and you have the ability to stop it."

"But..."

"Do you know what happens to people who disagree with your brother? Do you know what happens to anyone he considers a threat?"

"No, but..."

"They disappear. They are plucked from the streets and they disappear. Where to, we wondered. So, we set to find out. We infiltrated, took risks, even lost some of our people. Do you know what we discovered?"

Alfred shook his head and swallowed.

"They don't go anywhere. They're executed. No trial, no proof, nothing."

"No, that can't be..."

"We are letting this happen, Alfred. You are letting this happen. This can continue because you don't do anything."

Alfred pulled his arm away. "That's not fair."

"Your brother's rule is unfair. Those people losing their lives is unfair. People burying their family is unfair."

"What about my family? Mattie's my brother. He might be an obstacle to you, but he's my dear brother who I grew up with."

"He's a monster."

"He's my brother."

"He deserves to die!"

There was a silence in the room as heavy as if the stone walls crashed down on them.

"Say that again," Alfred said, his voice soft and strained. "Say that again about my brother."

"I…"

"Say it!"

Ivan shook his head. "You don't need me to repeat it."

"Take it back."

"No."

"For me."

Ivan set his jaw. "Not even for you. Not anymore."

"You may care about your family, but so do I. If you can't accept that... then I don't know if you should be here."

"Unlike you, I care about people dying. Unlike you, I am willing to do something about it."

"I'm not who you need."

"No. Clearly not."

Alfred knew it shouldn't end like this. Ivan was his soulmate. He knew they could be happy together. But he wouldn't hurt Matthew for the sake of romance.

"I'm going to bring down Lord Matthew," Ivan said. "I've been waiting to do so for years and not even you can stop me."

"I can't let him get hurt."

"I will use any means necessary. And if you're unwilling to help me, I'll have to do it without you."

"Fine. Then leave."

Ivan turned towards the tunnel. "You are not my enemy, Alfred. I'll never see you that way. But I have a duty to fulfill. And if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's to not let personal feelings cloud my mind. I can't justify not saving the people because my romantic interests lie elsewhere."

"This was always going to happen, wasn't it? It was always going to come down to this."

"Perhaps."

"Maybe being soulmates doesn't guarantee that you'll end up together. Maybe some circumstances can make it impossible."

"This must be one of those circumstances then."

"Probably. It's a shame. I had hoped that we could make this work…"

"So did I. But I think we've reached a limit."

Alfred nodded.

"Goodbye, then."

"Goodbye…"

Ivan disappeared into the tunnels.

Alfred sat down on the bed. What was even happening…

* * *

When Alfred couldn't stand the confined space of his bedroom any longer, he ventured out into the hallway. He wasn't sure where he was going until he found himself standing in front of the painting of his family. Funny how he kept gravitating towards here. He sat down on the bench in front of it, looking up at the image from the past. "Dad… Papa… What would you have done?"

They'd been a happy family. Even Matthew. Without the potion, Alfred's memories were coming back, including his childhood memories. He was always trying to keep up with Matthew, to learn from his big brother. They used to be the best of friends.

Had Matthew really resented him all along? How could Alfred not have known? Did it all boil down to sibling jealousy? Matthew could have the throne. Even if Alfred had grown up to be this land's lord, he would have wanted his brother by his side. He never intended to be a threat to Matthew.

Was the painting a lie too? A false, happy facade? Or was Matthew the only one who was unhappy?

Their parents wouldn't have wanted Matthew to hurt people. But they wouldn't have wanted Alfred to hurt his brother, either. They would have wanted both their children to be happy. But was that possible? Was there a way for both of them to come out of this alright? Or could it only be one of them? And if so… which one?

"Dad… Would you forgive me if I hurt Matthew? If it is to help our people? Which would you want me to put first?"

The idea that Matthew really had turned into some kind of monster made Alfred sick to the stomach. He didn't want to believe it. But if it was true, wasn't he being complacent? Wasn't he helping Matthew with his bad deeds? Wasn't he giving up his newfound freedom to stick his head back in the sand?

Or was he just making excuses to choose Ivan over his own brother?

"Dad… I need help…"

But paintings can't speak, and Alfred had nothing but eerie silence awaiting him.

"This is not the Mattie I know. Maybe… Maybe it's time for me to take action."

He didn't want to hurt Matthew, but more and more it seemed like he didn't have much of a choice.

"Dad… I'm sorry if I'm disappointing you… but I have to do this." He clenched his fists and got up. "I will defeat my brother and take the throne. And I promise to bring Mattie back." He walked back through the hallways and to his room. He'd find Ivan and try to make amends. But even if Ivan wasn't on his side anymore, he'd still fulfill his duty.

Alfred rested his hand on the doorknob but didn't turn it yet. He shouldn't be thinking about Ivan now. He had more important things to do. But deep inside, he knew that even if he defeated Matthew, he'd be sad if he wouldn't get Ivan back. You only get one soulmate, after all.

But he had time to be sad later. Right now, he had things to do. He opened the door and walked in.

"Hello, Alfred."

He stopped in his tracks. "Mattie?"

Matthew was sitting on the edge of his bed. "Welcome back. Oh, were you expecting someone else?"

"N-No, who could I be expecting?"

"I don't know, someone like… your soulmate?"

Alfred's blood ran cold. His heart pounded only one thought: _Where is Ivan?_

"We need to have a talk, little brother."


End file.
